Massage at the grocery store

Joel and I were in the produce aisle. While I was getting snow peas, he was putting his hands all over the broccoli. We were going to fix Chinese chicken satay with veggies for dinner.

"I'm massaging the broccoli," he announced.

"Well, please don't, honey. Would YOU want to eat broccoli that other people have touched so much?"

"Yup, I would!"

We finished our shopping, got in line, and started checking out After a couple minutes, I noticed he had his hands all over the boneless, skinless chicken.. Before I had a chance to ask, he announced rather loudly, "I'm massaging the breasts!"

The cashier almost spit out her gum laughing.

Cracked

I made Joel wear something today he didn't think was cool. He threw a little fit, started crying, the works. He topped it with,"You've put a crack in my heart!"

Not a Big Fan

Tonight was Joel's co-0p Christmas presentation. This morning I was prepping him by telling him what he'd wear.

"Holiday clothes," I said. "That's what the email said kids should wear. No t-shirts and jeans."
I showed him the long-sleeved red polo and black corduroys he was going to put on.

"I'll look like a nerd," he said. "I don't even like red anymore."
"Too bad," I said, "and you won't look like a nerd. All the kids will be wearing Christmas colors."

He whined and sulked and finally I said, "Keep it up, young man, and you'll land yourself in trouble."

"I'm just not a big fan of the holidays!" he said.

"Okay, I'll take back all your presents, then," I said. "They're for the holidays."

"Well, I am a big fan of presents, but not holidays."

"You mean holiday clothes?"

"Yeh, holiday clothes."

--------------
He wore the red and black tonight.

My Comparable Value

I discovered my inherent worth as a mom last night. Here's how:

Back in September Joel and I were in Barnes and Noble when he spotted a Star Wars sticker book. He loved it. Had to have it. Now. It was sooooo cool, after all.

It was $11!!I wasn't just going to outright buy it on the spot when he wanted it (though I've been known to give into his requests for anything artistic or literary).

But I would reward him with it IF he worked for it. He read (or had read to him) 50 books. The Star Wars book is now his very own.

He loves it. Though he's had it for 2 weeks, he's as much enamored of it as the day he first coveted the book. I must say, it's the classiest sticker book I've ever seen (and I've seen a lot).

Last night he was very affectionate, hugging me, wanting to snuggle, stroking my cheek and telling me it's soft as a baby's bottom.


Then, with starry eyes, he said these words: "I love you twice as much as I love my Star Wars sticker book!"

(Billy?) Joel's Sweetness

My sweet boy was snuggling me at naptime the other day. I've been dieting and told him, "Guess what? I've lost seven pounds already!"

"No!" he said. "Don't lose weight. I love you just the way you are."

-----------------------

Then I said, "Aww, honey, you're so sweet, but I need to lose weight. I'm happy I've lost 7 so far."

He stroked my side kind of analytically. "Yep, you feel 7-ish," he said.

Oh, She's Such a Bad Sister

Sarah came in from shopping for a few family members, Joel included.
He asked, "What did you get me?"
She: Can't tell ya.
He: Tell me!
She: A Barbie in a bikini.
He: (clenching his jaw) I won't appreciate that.
She: A baby doll.
He: Nuh-uh. I won't like that. Now, tell me the truth.
She: Okay......(singing) "My Little Pony, My Little Pony..."
He: Errrgh! Take it back!
She: All right, but you won't have anything from me.
He: Uh-huh! I think you'll get me Lego Star Wars.
She: If I do, do you think I'll tell you?
He: Yes, you will.

The Kind of Family we Aren't

I don't think she meant to be, but Sarah's description of our family is funny to me. Especially the line, "we're not the kind of family that makes other families jealous."



My childhood dream to grow up and be the matriarch of the new Waltons has just been crushed.



Read her blog post here, on Nov 22 "Giving Thanks," where she also refers to our home as sometimes "more of a war zone than a shelter." Tis true, we ain't the Cleavers, she adds, but rather the kind other people can look at and say of their own, "guess we aren't so bad after all."

I doubt we'll be making our debut on NBC anytime soon as the Ideal Family. Sniff, sniff .

Side Effects

Joel's been sick for a week, with terrible nasal congestion, fever, headache, and cough.

Saturday morning I gave him Tylenol and said, "Honey, can I pray for your pain?"

"I don't have pain," he said. "I have side effects." Then he blew his nose, very productively.

"Side effects?" I asked. "You mean a sinus infection?"

"Yeh, sinus affection."

Making Me Feel the Way He Sees Me

Joel and I were taking an online quiz this morning to determine what kind of superhero we each are. There are about 30 yes/no questions.

One of them is, "Are you beautiful?"

I clicked on "No."

He said, "Yes, you are! You're beautiful." Then he took the mouse from me and changed the
answer.

I melted.

The Amazing Spider-Man and his Patient Superdog

For Halloween this year, Joel was Spider-Man.

I bought the costume about 2 weeks earlier and he dressed up in it every day. He used last year's costume (Superman pj's) to torture the dog.

One of the houses we were approaching while trick-or-treating, had a little dog dressed up in a cape, sitting so still we couldn't tell if he was fake or real. Joel tiptoes and looked over his shoulder at me, "I have a bad feeling about this."

The dog was real. Real harmless.

Being Sick isn't Funny, but ...

Joel is funny even when he isn't feeling well. He's been congested since Sunday, had a cough, fever and fatique, with occasional bouts of puking.

1) Last night he felll asleep in bed next to his daddy. When I came to bed, Joel stirred a bit ,

I said, "Let me blow your nose, honey. Sit up a minute."

He sat up but shook his head and protested hoarsely, "Nooooo, nooooo! Dad does it better than you." I agreed, but made him blow his nose for me anyway.

2) This morning he came down the steps and I heard him crying. He looked so pathetic. I said, "What's wrong, buddy?" He pointed to his nose and said, "Snot!"

3) Ben cleaned his own room thoroughly yesterday. NOthing out of place, everything sanitized, wiped down, vacuumed. However, when I peeked in and saw Joel sprawled out on the bed playing a video game, I glanced at the window sill. There, lined up as neat as a row of soldiers, were about ten dirty kleenexes.

What's a Dinosaur Made of, Anyway?

In co-op art class today, our lesson was on texture. We had quite a variety of cut up pieces of things highly textured. They were to use whatever they wanted to make a paper bag puppet.

But little Matthew (in Joel's class) didn't want anything but red bumpy triangles of paper for his Tyrannosaurus Rex. Oh, and a tad bit of foil.

When I OFfered him fuzzy yars, he looked at me as if to educate me and said seriously, "Dinosaurs don't have fur."

Turtle Fact Sheet

We started today by talking about how turtles are an example of perseverance. They may move slowly, but they don't give up. We memorized Hebrews 12:1. "Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."

Then we looked up facts about turtles. I asked Joel to dictate a fact sheet to me, recalling all we had read and talked about. Here's what he told me. I especially like the second fact. :)

10 FACTS ABOUT BOX TURTLES.

1. They like to swim in shallow streams.
2. Turtles don’t give up in races.
3. Most of the time they live in the forest.
4. They eat meat and plants when they are young, but plants when they are adults.
5. They can be little or big.
6. The ones in pet stores often are infected with salmonella, which is nasty bacteria.
7. “Fear the turtle” is the slogan of the University of Maryland Terrapins.
8. They can drink water.
9. Their shells protect them from other animals.
10. Turtles don’t eat if they are too cold or stressed.

Now!

Yesterday I called to my 16-year old, "Stephen! I want you to take the trash out now!"

He came up, chortling. "You should've heard Joel," he told me, lifting the garbage bag. " We were playing XBox and he said, "You know what 'now' means, Stephen? It means not later, not when you feel like it, now!"


Someone's sounding like Dad more and more all the time.

More Kindergarten Komedy

Joel and I have been reviewing letter sounds. A few days ago came this gem from our little homeschooled kindergartener. This anecdote will serve you, whether you're judgmental or self-righteous. It is what it is:

I got to the letter "f" and asked him to tell me five words that start with that letter.


He paused, looked remorseful and yet curious, then asked, "You mean good words?"

-------------------------------

Today we were reviewing the sound that the letter "r" makes. I asked him for five words that start with that letter.

He was looking around the room for clues, so I helped him with the first one.

"If you are not poor, you are ---"

"Happy!" he said.

Right Letter, Wrong Language

It's Day 3 of kindergarten. Joel reads very well, but we were reviewing sounds that the letters A-H make. Using big flashcards, each with a picture, I asked Joel to say the sound and then five more words (besides the picture) that the letter starts with.

He was having a hard time thinking of examples for the letter "h".

So I gave him some clues.

I waved my hand. "Okay, when you greet someone, what do you say?"

He furrowed his brow in thought, then replied, "Hola?"

Bed-Man

Down in Myrtle Beach we were driving along Route 17 and Joel was reading every sign he could.

One was the name of a mattress store, but there were no clues to that fact.

He read aloud, "Bed-Man? Is he a superhero?"

Pool Funnies on Vacation

We're on vacation and in the pool this morning, Sarah was telling Joel to lay more horizontal when he swims. He tried it. He went under a little and got water up his nose. She lifted him up and said, "That was easy, wasn't it?"

"No, it wasn't easy!" he said, coughing a bit.

"Yes, it was. You swam farther."

"No, it wasn't!" he insisted. "It's my life!"

--------------------------------------------------------------
A few minutes later Sarah saw me getting ready to head into the pool.

"Joel," she said eagerly, "Here comes Mom!"

"Oh, no," he groaned. "She's not stylish enough."

Let them be Little--a video

My Stephen made a very sweet and touching video of Joel
this week. It's Joel as a baby.
Have five years really come and gone that fast?

Click on http://zoanna.blogspot.com/2007/08/let-them-be-little.html.

Bathroom Issues

After lunch there was the usual bit of tidying up to be done by everyone. Toys, books, art supplies, junk mail to be put where it goes.

"Joel, these action figures don't go on the table. They go with your toys."

"Sarah, would you please load the dishes?"

"Stephen, can you take this basket of clothes upstairs?" I asked as he walked in the house from the mailbox. He dropped the mail on the table.

I flipped through it and said, "Oh, goody! Here's my new issue of Real Simple."


"That goes in the bathroom," Joel said, without missing a beat.

Git the boy some learnin', ma'am!

Joel was so excited today when a box of his kindergarten homeschool curriculum showed up.

"This is cool stuff, Joel. I'll teach you starting next month!"

"I want to be teached now," he said.


Think I should have ordered the kid a grammar book?

Suppository

Early this week Joel had been complaining about a stomach ache for two days. I questioned him for how long it had been since he pooped. Neither of us (nor anyone else who wipes him) could remember.

On the third day he let me give him a glycerin suppository. Twenty minutes later he had a good, healthy "go." While I was wiping him, I asked, "So, do you feel better?"

"Yeah! Much, MUCH Better! I can't believe that worked so fast!"

Then yesterday I was all nervous about playing keyboard for the first time at care group, but didn't voice my nerves. All I said, sort of half out loud to no one in particular in the kitchen was, "Man, my stomach hurts!"

To which Joel promptly prescribed a cure.

"Well, just stick one of those things up your butt!"

Playing Dad

Joel cracked me up last night. I was scrapbooking in the basement, and everyone else had gone upstairs. Jeol was ready for bed. Rather matter-of-factly, he turned to me and said, "Be sure to turn everything off and lock up."

Popular Pie

Sarah , Joel, and I were sitting in the van tonight waiting for Stephen to finish up night 2 of driver's ed.

We had Christian radio on. At 9 a.m. a preacher began his message with this line:

"Sex is the most natural high....."

Sarah and I pretended not to hear him, but to distract Joel. It was no use. Joel giggled.

"What did the man say?" I asked.

He giggled again. Then he answered:

"Sex is the most popular pie in the world."

Distort-a-Boy

Joel told me to take his pictures while he showed off his "skinny-ness." Ribs and all, here's my baby.

Then he jumped back in the sprinkler.

June 2007, Age 5

Ruined Life

Stephen brought Joel to me. Joel was in tears; Stephen was trying to stifle a laugh.

"He ruined my life!" Joel said, throwing himself dramatically onto the bed, curling up in fetal position.

"Who ruined your life? And how?" I asked.

"Stephen did! He beat me in Trouble."

Military vs. Civilian

Tonight I heard Joel playing war with two action figures.

"Kill all the civilians!" he said authoritatively.

I piped up and asked, "Joel, do you know what a civilian is?"

"No."

"It's someone not in the military. Do you know what the military is?"

"No."

"Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines. Is Dad in the military?" I asked, to see if he understood.



"No, he's in bed."

In a what?

Joel's disobedience and disrespect earned him a spanking today. But I must confess the way I did it was probably less than ideal (My lame excuse is that I'm congested and feel run down physically.)

He had acted up in the van when it was impossible to receive immediate consequences. Yet he was warned.

So here we were in Sarah's room, with her on the bed and me in the chair. I said, "Joel, bend over. You're getting a spanking for doing that fake cry to try to get your way. " He bent over. "And while you're bent over, I'm gonna spank you for everything else you've done wrong today." I felt silly saying that and started to chuckle.

"Oh, that's real effective parenting, Mom, " Sarah said.

"And you're in a propriate," Joel said, laughing.

"In a what?" I said, losing all composure.

"A propriate," he repeated.

"No, I'm not, " I said, 'you're gonna get 3 swats." And he did.

Sarah then took out the Bible and began Proverbs to him. "He who spares the rod hates his son," it says, "If Mom and Dad hated you, they wouldn't spank you, but they love you,"

"You're reading it wrong!" he insisted.

"No, read it for yourself," Sarah said, and showed him Proverbs 13:24. He read out loud word by word, "He . Who. Spares. The. Rod. Hates. His. Son."

He was had. Then he was cheerful.

That's what I call a "propriate" response to discipline!~)

Belly Laugh Cures Belly Ache

Today Joel's stomach was really hurting around noon. I gave him a bath and then said I'd lay down for a nap with him. Snuggling close, I put my hand on his belly and prayed out loud, "Dear Jesus, please heal Joel. Drive out the tummy ache."

Well, he just started laughing. "Drive it out?"
"Yeah," I said, "drive the ache out of your belly." He kept laughing.
"You know like driving a car?" he asked." Like that commercial where the lady says give me thunder thighs and--"

"And a bedunkabunk butt?" I asked. He snorted and guffawed and giggled and said, "Don't make me laugh. It makes my tummy hurt." He kept laughing. I wish I'd had the videocamera to record it.

"Okay, but you know the Bible says laughter does good like medicine," I assured him.

"Then say it again!"

"Bedunkabunk butt," I said about 10 more times. He laughed and then got out of bed.


"Where are you going?" I asked. "You need a nap and then you'll probably feel better."

"No, I don't need a nap. You made me laugh so hard my tummy ache is gone!"

"Did Jesus drive it out?" I asked. That started another round of jocularity, but I somehow managed to coax him back to bed, where he slept soundly for 2 hours.

Illusions of Grandeur

I debated whether or not to post this. But it is such a male thing for my five-year-old to say.

Yesterday after Joel's shower, all I found for him in his underwear drawer were size 4. "They're WAY too small for me," he says. "I need a 6."

"All your sixes are on the basement sofa, honey. I folded them yesterday. Run down and get a pair."

"Naked?" he asked.

"Yes, and hurry! No one will see you."

He bounced toward the steps and then turned back to me, with a half-scowl, half-bragging smile on his face.

"I hate my wee-wee," he says. "It's so big I trip over it. It's almost longer than my legs!" Then he scurried down the steps.

I howled!! Oh. My. Goodness. He is such a little MAN!!!! (I told Paul and the older kids later and they chuckled till they were redfaced.)

"When I was a Little Boy"

Joel,5, had his 4 year old friend, Jack, over yesterday. It's been a good while since he was here (February). I heard Jack say, "I remember coming here when I was a little boy, Joel. I was two and now I'm four."

A little later Joel asked Jack if he wanted to draw airplanes with him. Joel uses colored pencils and a book called "Draw 50 Airplanes."

Joel: Jack, wanna draw airplanes with me?
Jack: Nah, I liked coloring when I was a little kid, but I'm big now, and I don't.
Joel: It's not COLORING. It's DRAWING!
Jack: That's okay. I wanna play Legos anyway.

Who is Mother's Day for, Anyway?

Joel has a little friend named Jack.
Jack's mom is very nice.
Joel likes Jack's mom, too.
Joel is a big gift giver.
Sarah likes to help Joel shop for gifts.
Sarah said, yesterday, "Joel, let's go out and get a Mother's Day gift."
Joel asked, "For Jack's mom?"

My Baby loves Me. I love my Baby.

He could use a haircut, I could use a diet, but we love each other "real much."

Little Brother,Big Sister

He just wanted his picture taken with
the girl he loves most.

Shift Key Confusion

Joel drew a heart and put the words, "Dad, Mom, Joel" inside. He came to me and asked how to do the seven on the shift key. I was not paying full attention to his question, so I assumed.

"You mean how to spell it? S-e-v-e-n," I said, writing it.
"No, I mean like on the shift key."
Again, I manufactured an meaning. "OH, "seven" in capital letters?" I wrote that for him.
"No, I don't mean that. I mean like cursive on the shift key." Once more, I was confused. I was thinking "cursive font in captitals," so I wrote that.

He was getting exasperated, and I wasn't any closer to closing the brain gap.

"UH! I MEAN, the SHIFT KEY and the SEVEN that looks like this" (he drew something akin to a treble clef note.

EUREKA!

FINALLY it dawned on me. "Oh, the and sign?!"

"Yes! he cheered. "The and sign. Like Dad, Mom, & Joel." He was talking about the ampersand. Duh. So I taught him that word and he was duly excited.

I was thinking, "Wow, kid. I didn't know how to use the ampersand on the typewriter (yes I'm dating myself) until typing class in high school! Let alone remember that it's on the 7 key when I'm NOT typing!

Tear-free Shampoo is Good, but--

Joel was using his favorite shampoo (Suave for Kids, Cowabunga Coconut scent)yesterday in the shower as I helped him. He likes it because it smells great and is tear-free.

However, a few seconds after lathering it up, he sneezed. Once, then twice.

He concluded out loud, "They should make sneeze-free shampoo."

Ebay Mom

This afternoon Joel was being a real pest. You know how overtiredness just gets them obnoxious. So he, my sweet and precious angel baby, was bothering his big brother big time. I told him sternly, "Lay down on the bed. Just stay there till I tell you to get up."

He grumped and snarled and said, "I hate when you do this."

"I don't like when you do what you've done, honey. It's not right or good."

"Would you like me to buy another mom?" he threatened.

"Another mom? Where would you buy one?" I asked, trying not to smile.

'On eBay," he said. "They sell 'em."

We both cracked up, and he came running to me and threw his arms around me. "I love you, sweet Mommy," he said.

"I love you, too, sweet baby, but I didn't tell you could get up out of bed. I'm not going to change my mind just because you're all huggy-kissy and funny."

"You're not?"

"No. Maybe an eBay mom would, but not me."

In Good Hands

When Ben was three months old we went camping with a church group at Cunningham Falls in western Maryland.

I felt no fear about hiking and climbing as long as Paul was holding the baby close.

This is exactly how I picture myself in God's arms. So safe I can sleep while He does the carrying.

Benjie Jumping

Okay, so it's not a bungee jump, but it was his extreme sport of choice at age six months. I took this page from a scrapbook.

Baby Ben, 1988

Here's my baby Ben. The year was 1988. The event was Christmas. We just loved watching him open his presents because he was 9 months old and capable of appreciating a few (cheap) things. Boxes mostly, but he also was at that age of cause-and-effect fun.

I love this boy. It helps to take trips down Memory Lane to refresh the joys of motherhood. I remember this feeling of my cheek against his soft, wispy hair. I wish I could remember his giggle. It was priceless. Now it's deep and contagious, and still he has those wonderful dimples like his dad.

Father/son Moment 1989

One of my favorite pictures ever. Paul was so thrilled to be a dad, it was always hard for him to say goodbye to us in the morning. (Well, I exaggerate. I'm sure many days he was more than glad to go off to a less chaotic environment for 8 diaper-free hours.) But his homecoming at 5:10 every night was the highlight of my day, when he'd set his briefcase down, dial the combination, and watch Ben jump with excitement when the buttons would pop open and he could explore the contents inside. (Or at least peek. We weren't dumb enough to give him free rein. We were dumb about many things, but we learned on Ben. Poor kid. Probably explains a lot!) I find it heartwarming that Ben took an early interest in business (Daddy's briefcase) and now it's his major.

"Son of my Right Hand"

"He's such a happy baby!" everyone would say about Ben.
He smiled a lot, for sure. Maybe because he made me so happy and I was around him all day.

His name means "son of my right hand." Sure, the biblical meaning has more depth, but I tease him that ever since he was old enough to hold a vacuum hose, I gave him one of my jobs! To this day he has the cleanest room in the house. I kid you not.

Aren't those dimples just the cutest?

Ben, Way Back When

My firstborn, Benjamin Paul, will be 19 years old this month. This picture was taken when he was probably about 10-11 months old. (He didn't walk till 13 months, when I brought home baby sister Sarah.) He had three favorite toys: any ball, a play station (of sorts--the one in this picture) and Daddy's guitar. Not much has changed! Talk about a child's "bent." It's fun to look back and see the buds of personality and interests.

I remember thinking how mobile he was, how exhausting to chase, making sure he didn't hurt himself. Never imagined what it'd be like to wait up past midnight waiting for him to come home. His loud music in the car (which he claims is "so low, how can anyone in the neighborhood even hear it?), the garage door opening , signaling his homecoming. All things I'd miss if he weren't here but need grace for while he is.

This is How Much I...

Today Joel was helping Sarah declutter her room. I was at the computer. He handed me an index card that had a column of numbers on it. (It was a list of wreaths I sold for different amounts, and the total.)

The bottom line said 500.

He said, "Mom, do you need this?"

I looked it over and said, "No, it just shows how much I--"

"Weigh?" he asked.

Check this Out

Our whole family gets a kick daily out of Joel. He really lights up our lives.
Sarah, our 17 year old, wrote something she loves about him. Check it out at www.77thpsalm.blogspot.com. (Her blog is called Homeward Bound. My link button isn't working right today.)

Out of Your Own Head

Last night was the first in over two weeks that I felt well enough to cook a good meal. I felt so much better, in fact, that I treated my family to a meal of New York steak that I marinated with a little bit of this and that. Real mashed potatoes, a colorful salad with homemade honey mustard dressing, and--with Joel's help--a bright and artistically arranged platter of canteloupe, strawberries and bananas.

While we were working alongside each other, Joel says to me, "Did you get this from Rachael Ray or did you think of it out of your own head?"

Free-hand Batman Icon

This piece utterly amazed me. Joel took a piece of black construction paper (full size) and --without tracing or steciling or even drawing an outline first-- cut out this Batman icon with scissors. Not only was he just a few days shy of five years old, the amazing thing to me was that this gift is inherited from his great-great grandfather Nickel. My father used to watch his grandfather take a piece of paper or tin foil and cut out freehand pictures of a galloping horse, proud stag, or eagle in flight. Sometimes he did it with his eyes closed. To me this is such a testimony of God's wonderful creative genius being repeated throughout the generations!

OGW Club Sends Love to Iraq

Once again our Operation Gummi Worms Club poured out their love for a soldier they don't know --yet!--my brother in law, Sgt. Trip Felton. They came over on Feb 6th and made heart-shaped sugar cookies and lavished them with red and pink sprinkles. They also pulled out the proverbial stops when getting creative with the cards. GREAT NEWS: THEY WILL GET TO MEET TRIP! He's coming home to Maryland in April/May and really wants to meet them as much as they want to meet him. I can hardly wait for this homecoming celebration!!!! I can only imagine they'll be ga-ga over this real, live soldier they've only known through pictures and cards.

Funny but not Genteel

I debated whether to post this. Those of you who were brought up with all sisters or who are prim and proper should probably not read on. I grew up in that kind of home but married a man raised with all brothers. Let's just say my manners took a left turn (or maybe did a U-ey)at the altar.

So, with that warning, let me say I found Joel's comment the other night hilarious. We've all been coughing. Sometimes really hard. Well, one time he coughed and "tooted" at the same time.

"Woops!" he said, giggling. "My butt coughed, too!"

When All-Inclusive is Overkill

A few nights ago Joel was miserable. Very warm, congested, achy, sneezy, all-over blah feeling.
I was scratching his back to help him go to sleep and he said, "Mom, will you pray for me, please?"

"Sure," I said, and decided to include every possible body part in one efficient prayer. "Lord Jesus, please have mercy on my baby. Touch him with your healing power . Please make him feel better from head to toe--"



"But, Mom--" he interrupted, "my toe doesn't hurt."

Why His Temperature is Low

Like having a great hair day on the day of your haircut appointment, or your car not making the funny noise for the mechanic that it's made for you for two weeks, so my kids seems to be pictures of health and liveliness when presenting them to the doctor for a supposed fever and other symptoms.

Our entire household has been sick to varying degrees for 3 weeks. Joel was the only one with a fever and that started Monday night. By Wednesday morning, he still had one. I didn't take his temp, but guessed it was at least 100-101.

So Wednesday afternoon I take him to the doctor's office. The nurse takes his temperature.

"What is it?" I ask?

"It's 97.5, " she replies.

"That low?" I ask. "Hmmm!"

Then Joel pipes up, "That's because I'm only five."

It's Cold Out, Baby!

But Joel loves it. We got less than 2 inches of snow but then so much ice that our hill out back was a track so slick they couldn't ride sleds. They could barely climb the hill on foot, except for Joel, who moves like a gazelle over frozen tundra.

Basketball is a Testimony to God's Love

Stephen has really been enjoying basketball this year. In his words, "This is the best game there is."

I still marvel when I watch him play. It's a testimony to God's love in the form of healing. Two days after his 13th birthday (2004) Stephen was skateboarding down the street behind us, which, like every street in our neighborhood, is quite hilly. When he realized he was going too fast and could end up with a head injury if he didn't bail, he jumped off. Jumped so hard and landed straight on both feet in the grass. The sudden impact with all his weight at that speed made his right quad muscle tear the tibia tubercle off. (That's the knotty bump below the kneecap, more noticeable on guys.) The ER staff at Upper Chesapeake didn't diagnose the break. They called it 'derangement' and said, "See an orthopedist in a couple days. Meanwhile, rest it, ice it, elevate it. " His thigh swelled up like a body pillow and he couldn't move it. Unbearable pain. The orthopedist saw him and ordered emergency surgery. (Upper Chesapeake Hospital has disappointed us many a time in their diagnoses.) Stephen spent four months in physical therapy. His goal was to play basketball by Christmas of that year. The last week of November he hobbled to the hoop at the top of the driveway and took a shot. I don't remember if he made it. I was fighting tears of joy.

Writing on the Cake

Joel turned five years old yesterday. We gave him our family gifts (Superman action figures , Superman magic coloring book, and Star Wars Legos.)

When he opened the Legos, he exclaimed, "Cool! This is what I've wanted my whole life!"

That was his morning funny.

My funny Valentine is going to have a party with friends this Saturday, with a superheroes theme, cake and all. But yesterday he wanted a cake, too, which is fine. EVeryone should have a cake right on their birthday. We (Sarah and I, the resident cake decorators) just didn't have the energy or creativity for emblellishing this pre-party cake.

So I said, "Joel, what do you want on your cake? What should we write?"

He dragged a chair to the counter where Sarah held the writing tip with icing. While he was dragging the chair, Sarah asked him the same question, "Joel, what do you want me to write on your cake?"

He said, "Dear Joel" ....(long pause).....I hope you have a good time with your Star Wars buddies."

Feel the Love

It's 12 stinking degrees here. Twelve. Or was that the high today? At any rate, Joel must be a reptile; he has been in a T-shirt and shorts all day around the house. Finally, this evening, I couldn't stand seeing him in summer clothes. It was making ME cold. So I said, "Joel ,I want you to go upstairs and put on pants and socks."

"But I'm not cold."

"I don't care. I want you to put on warmer clothes."

"Can't we just snuggle?"

"We can snuggle after you put on pants and socks. Now go."

"But Mom! I can snuggle you and feel the love and be warm."


AWww, I know. Precious. I said, "That's sweet, honey, but you must obey. Now go."

Next thing I knew he was in my bed, fast asleep, the electric blanket on HIGH. Still in shorts and T.

Chinese People

Joel has picked up on the fact that people from different countries speak different languages. He hears me talk about my online French friends, Isabelle and Renee. Our friends, the Blums, visited with us from Israel in the summer, and Ya'el was here again in November and December, to teach Hebrew. Of course Joel hears Spanish every time we eat at La Tolteca or go to Walmart. A couple of times we've had Chinese students in our home, but he was too young to remember.

Yesterday we were driving home from Bible study, and out of the blue came Joel's funny question. "Mom, what do Chinese people talk? French, Hebrew, or Spanish?"

I said, "Most Chinese people speak Chinese, honey."

"They do?" he asked, as if Chinese people are far superior because they speak an altogether foreign language!

Little Arrows

Paul shaves every day except Saturday in a normal week. Yesterday Stephen had a noontime game on a typical Saturday. Joel, Paul, and I went to watch it.

Sitting in the bleachers, Joel was being very snuggly and Paul was returning the affection. At one point Joel rubbed his face against his daddy's rough whiskers. Immediately he jerked back.

"Ouch! What are those? Little arrows or somethin'?"

Joel then leaned over to me, rubbed his cheek against mine. "You're soft. You don't have any arrows!"

Kindergarten Theologian

Ethan is a year older than Joel and his best friend. He came over to play a few nights ago. After three and a half hours in each other's company, they started getting on each other's nerves temporarily. They were in the recliner together and Ethan said or did something and Joel got angry. I looked over and saw Joel's fist clutched, apparently ready to slug this same kid he's been beggin to have over for weeks.

Ethan looked sternly at him as with the power of God and said, "Friends don't hit friends. Do you want to go to heaven or hell?"

Joel thought about it and relaxed his fist.