Massage at the grocery store

Joel and I were in the produce aisle. While I was getting snow peas, he was putting his hands all over the broccoli. We were going to fix Chinese chicken satay with veggies for dinner.

"I'm massaging the broccoli," he announced.

"Well, please don't, honey. Would YOU want to eat broccoli that other people have touched so much?"

"Yup, I would!"

We finished our shopping, got in line, and started checking out After a couple minutes, I noticed he had his hands all over the boneless, skinless chicken.. Before I had a chance to ask, he announced rather loudly, "I'm massaging the breasts!"

The cashier almost spit out her gum laughing.

Cracked

I made Joel wear something today he didn't think was cool. He threw a little fit, started crying, the works. He topped it with,"You've put a crack in my heart!"

Not a Big Fan

Tonight was Joel's co-0p Christmas presentation. This morning I was prepping him by telling him what he'd wear.

"Holiday clothes," I said. "That's what the email said kids should wear. No t-shirts and jeans."
I showed him the long-sleeved red polo and black corduroys he was going to put on.

"I'll look like a nerd," he said. "I don't even like red anymore."
"Too bad," I said, "and you won't look like a nerd. All the kids will be wearing Christmas colors."

He whined and sulked and finally I said, "Keep it up, young man, and you'll land yourself in trouble."

"I'm just not a big fan of the holidays!" he said.

"Okay, I'll take back all your presents, then," I said. "They're for the holidays."

"Well, I am a big fan of presents, but not holidays."

"You mean holiday clothes?"

"Yeh, holiday clothes."

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He wore the red and black tonight.

My Comparable Value

I discovered my inherent worth as a mom last night. Here's how:

Back in September Joel and I were in Barnes and Noble when he spotted a Star Wars sticker book. He loved it. Had to have it. Now. It was sooooo cool, after all.

It was $11!!I wasn't just going to outright buy it on the spot when he wanted it (though I've been known to give into his requests for anything artistic or literary).

But I would reward him with it IF he worked for it. He read (or had read to him) 50 books. The Star Wars book is now his very own.

He loves it. Though he's had it for 2 weeks, he's as much enamored of it as the day he first coveted the book. I must say, it's the classiest sticker book I've ever seen (and I've seen a lot).

Last night he was very affectionate, hugging me, wanting to snuggle, stroking my cheek and telling me it's soft as a baby's bottom.


Then, with starry eyes, he said these words: "I love you twice as much as I love my Star Wars sticker book!"