In a what?

Joel's disobedience and disrespect earned him a spanking today. But I must confess the way I did it was probably less than ideal (My lame excuse is that I'm congested and feel run down physically.)

He had acted up in the van when it was impossible to receive immediate consequences. Yet he was warned.

So here we were in Sarah's room, with her on the bed and me in the chair. I said, "Joel, bend over. You're getting a spanking for doing that fake cry to try to get your way. " He bent over. "And while you're bent over, I'm gonna spank you for everything else you've done wrong today." I felt silly saying that and started to chuckle.

"Oh, that's real effective parenting, Mom, " Sarah said.

"And you're in a propriate," Joel said, laughing.

"In a what?" I said, losing all composure.

"A propriate," he repeated.

"No, I'm not, " I said, 'you're gonna get 3 swats." And he did.

Sarah then took out the Bible and began Proverbs to him. "He who spares the rod hates his son," it says, "If Mom and Dad hated you, they wouldn't spank you, but they love you,"

"You're reading it wrong!" he insisted.

"No, read it for yourself," Sarah said, and showed him Proverbs 13:24. He read out loud word by word, "He . Who. Spares. The. Rod. Hates. His. Son."

He was had. Then he was cheerful.

That's what I call a "propriate" response to discipline!~)

Belly Laugh Cures Belly Ache

Today Joel's stomach was really hurting around noon. I gave him a bath and then said I'd lay down for a nap with him. Snuggling close, I put my hand on his belly and prayed out loud, "Dear Jesus, please heal Joel. Drive out the tummy ache."

Well, he just started laughing. "Drive it out?"
"Yeah," I said, "drive the ache out of your belly." He kept laughing.
"You know like driving a car?" he asked." Like that commercial where the lady says give me thunder thighs and--"

"And a bedunkabunk butt?" I asked. He snorted and guffawed and giggled and said, "Don't make me laugh. It makes my tummy hurt." He kept laughing. I wish I'd had the videocamera to record it.

"Okay, but you know the Bible says laughter does good like medicine," I assured him.

"Then say it again!"

"Bedunkabunk butt," I said about 10 more times. He laughed and then got out of bed.


"Where are you going?" I asked. "You need a nap and then you'll probably feel better."

"No, I don't need a nap. You made me laugh so hard my tummy ache is gone!"

"Did Jesus drive it out?" I asked. That started another round of jocularity, but I somehow managed to coax him back to bed, where he slept soundly for 2 hours.

Illusions of Grandeur

I debated whether or not to post this. But it is such a male thing for my five-year-old to say.

Yesterday after Joel's shower, all I found for him in his underwear drawer were size 4. "They're WAY too small for me," he says. "I need a 6."

"All your sixes are on the basement sofa, honey. I folded them yesterday. Run down and get a pair."

"Naked?" he asked.

"Yes, and hurry! No one will see you."

He bounced toward the steps and then turned back to me, with a half-scowl, half-bragging smile on his face.

"I hate my wee-wee," he says. "It's so big I trip over it. It's almost longer than my legs!" Then he scurried down the steps.

I howled!! Oh. My. Goodness. He is such a little MAN!!!! (I told Paul and the older kids later and they chuckled till they were redfaced.)

"When I was a Little Boy"

Joel,5, had his 4 year old friend, Jack, over yesterday. It's been a good while since he was here (February). I heard Jack say, "I remember coming here when I was a little boy, Joel. I was two and now I'm four."

A little later Joel asked Jack if he wanted to draw airplanes with him. Joel uses colored pencils and a book called "Draw 50 Airplanes."

Joel: Jack, wanna draw airplanes with me?
Jack: Nah, I liked coloring when I was a little kid, but I'm big now, and I don't.
Joel: It's not COLORING. It's DRAWING!
Jack: That's okay. I wanna play Legos anyway.

Who is Mother's Day for, Anyway?

Joel has a little friend named Jack.
Jack's mom is very nice.
Joel likes Jack's mom, too.
Joel is a big gift giver.
Sarah likes to help Joel shop for gifts.
Sarah said, yesterday, "Joel, let's go out and get a Mother's Day gift."
Joel asked, "For Jack's mom?"