Garden Harlot

Funny but not, but yeah:

Asked Joel to bring the recycling bin down from the curb.
Him: You're a recycling bin!
Me: Not funny. Then get a broom and sweep the porch.
Him: You're a broom.
Me. Not funny. Knock it off. And after you sweep, pull those sharp weeds with a hoe.
Him: You're a hoe.
Me: Don't say that!
Him: What's a hoe?
Me: Never mind. Just don't say that again.

A Boy's Phone Call

Earlier today I said to Joel: You can't get on video games till after dinner.
Him: Okay. Can I call (my friend) to tell him?
Me: Yes, go ahead,.
Him: (on phone) Hey, I can't get on video games till after dinner.
Other Boy: Okay. Bye.
(They hang up.)
Joel: See, Mom, that was a BOY'S phone call. A girl's phone call would've been like this: (talking in a very high voice) Hi! What're you doing? Oh, really? Playing with Barbies? Do you want to trade Barbies? Wait! Girls don't trade Barbies. Well, um, I just wanted to let you know I can't get on video games till after dinner, so.... yeah, I know. Bummer! But wait, I got one more thing to tell you. I mean five things. Or probably ten more things....."