How to Make Puppies

Joel asked this while petting the (neutered) dog.

"Mom, what does a dog need to produce puppies?"

I repeated the question, though I'd heard him just fine (a familiar stall tactic of every nervous parent).

Then I said, "Um, it needs a male and a female."

He said, "That's all? And food and water too, right?"

Fish funny

I was reading Matthew 17 today to Joel. At the end of the chapter, Jesus tells Peter to go hook the first fish and pull a piece of money out of its mouth.

Joel blurted out, "Hey! It was a goldfish! Get it?"

Special Wormie, Bad Dog, Founding Fathers

Our fifteen month old golden Retriever can't be trusted not to pick stuff up that doesn't belong to him. Today he got hold of Wormie, an 18-inch white stuffed sock puppet that Joel made in second grade.

Reilly tore the eyes off, which made Joel understandably very, very angry and hurt. In his anger, he threw the eyes into the bottom of the trash.

He carried on and on. "Wormie was special to me! I hate Reilly. I'm never gonna look at him again. I'm never gonna feed him, never play with him even if he looks cute cuz he's not, he's ugly. He doesn't deserve anything he has! He only deserves to go back to his old owner that didn't take care of him!"

I asked Joel if he wanted to take the eyes out of the trash; he could glue them back on.

"No. He will never be the same!"

"How about if I sew the eyes back on? He'll look just fine."

"No, he won't, Mom. Even if you make me a brand new Wormie, I'll still be angry. It's like the Declaration of Independence."

I was stumped. Where'd that analogy come from?

"What do you mean, honey?"

"I mean a copy of the Declaration of Independence just isn't valuable. Only the original thing is!"