Hey, Miss, Can you Spare a Dime?

Last night Joel accompanied me to Barnes & Noble for a couple of Christmas gifts. While browsing near the back of the store, he told me he needed to go to the bathroom. Well, when I'm all's he got for potty partnering, I don't let him use the men's room. I'm phobic that way.

So I scoped out the ladies' room. Coast was clear. I ushered him in and he starts doing what he's there for. I stood outside his stall while he tells me it's weird that he makes bubbles when he pees. A lady comes in just as he's telling me this. She grins as if to say, "How cute."

When he came out, he washed his hands and then looked for a paper towel. There were none. He didn't see electric hand dryers either. But then he spotted a feminine product dispenser with a sign that read "Napkins 10c".

He looked at me and, matter-of-factly said, "If I had ten cents, I would buy a napkin."

The Jelly Hose

Joel and I were snuggling on the sofa, under a blanket, singing Christmas carols last night. His sweet little face and voice were within three inches of mine, and I was studying his precious mouth, his young smile, his delightful singing voice...trying to package it in my memory for all time. I was waxing sappy when...

...we got to the part in the song that goes, "With th'angelic host proclaim..." and I saw and heard what he thought were the words.

"With the jelly hose proclaim, 'Christ is born in Bethlehem!'"

how Old is a Woman?

I ran errands today with Stephen (17) and Joel (6). While waiting in the van together for Stephen to run into a store for me, Joel asked me, "How old is a woman?"

'Do you mean how old do you have to be to be a woman?" I asked.

"Yeh."

I thought a moment and opted NOT to give him the birds-and-bees answer. Instead I said, "Oh, I'd say 18."

He paused. "Oh, so then Stephen's almost a woman?"


Then he laughed all over himself. He was still laughing when Stephen came out. (So was I.)