In a what?

Joel's disobedience and disrespect earned him a spanking today. But I must confess the way I did it was probably less than ideal (My lame excuse is that I'm congested and feel run down physically.)

He had acted up in the van when it was impossible to receive immediate consequences. Yet he was warned.

So here we were in Sarah's room, with her on the bed and me in the chair. I said, "Joel, bend over. You're getting a spanking for doing that fake cry to try to get your way. " He bent over. "And while you're bent over, I'm gonna spank you for everything else you've done wrong today." I felt silly saying that and started to chuckle.

"Oh, that's real effective parenting, Mom, " Sarah said.

"And you're in a propriate," Joel said, laughing.

"In a what?" I said, losing all composure.

"A propriate," he repeated.

"No, I'm not, " I said, 'you're gonna get 3 swats." And he did.

Sarah then took out the Bible and began Proverbs to him. "He who spares the rod hates his son," it says, "If Mom and Dad hated you, they wouldn't spank you, but they love you,"

"You're reading it wrong!" he insisted.

"No, read it for yourself," Sarah said, and showed him Proverbs 13:24. He read out loud word by word, "He . Who. Spares. The. Rod. Hates. His. Son."

He was had. Then he was cheerful.

That's what I call a "propriate" response to discipline!~)

Belly Laugh Cures Belly Ache

Today Joel's stomach was really hurting around noon. I gave him a bath and then said I'd lay down for a nap with him. Snuggling close, I put my hand on his belly and prayed out loud, "Dear Jesus, please heal Joel. Drive out the tummy ache."

Well, he just started laughing. "Drive it out?"
"Yeah," I said, "drive the ache out of your belly." He kept laughing.
"You know like driving a car?" he asked." Like that commercial where the lady says give me thunder thighs and--"

"And a bedunkabunk butt?" I asked. He snorted and guffawed and giggled and said, "Don't make me laugh. It makes my tummy hurt." He kept laughing. I wish I'd had the videocamera to record it.

"Okay, but you know the Bible says laughter does good like medicine," I assured him.

"Then say it again!"

"Bedunkabunk butt," I said about 10 more times. He laughed and then got out of bed.


"Where are you going?" I asked. "You need a nap and then you'll probably feel better."

"No, I don't need a nap. You made me laugh so hard my tummy ache is gone!"

"Did Jesus drive it out?" I asked. That started another round of jocularity, but I somehow managed to coax him back to bed, where he slept soundly for 2 hours.

Illusions of Grandeur

I debated whether or not to post this. But it is such a male thing for my five-year-old to say.

Yesterday after Joel's shower, all I found for him in his underwear drawer were size 4. "They're WAY too small for me," he says. "I need a 6."

"All your sixes are on the basement sofa, honey. I folded them yesterday. Run down and get a pair."

"Naked?" he asked.

"Yes, and hurry! No one will see you."

He bounced toward the steps and then turned back to me, with a half-scowl, half-bragging smile on his face.

"I hate my wee-wee," he says. "It's so big I trip over it. It's almost longer than my legs!" Then he scurried down the steps.

I howled!! Oh. My. Goodness. He is such a little MAN!!!! (I told Paul and the older kids later and they chuckled till they were redfaced.)

"When I was a Little Boy"

Joel,5, had his 4 year old friend, Jack, over yesterday. It's been a good while since he was here (February). I heard Jack say, "I remember coming here when I was a little boy, Joel. I was two and now I'm four."

A little later Joel asked Jack if he wanted to draw airplanes with him. Joel uses colored pencils and a book called "Draw 50 Airplanes."

Joel: Jack, wanna draw airplanes with me?
Jack: Nah, I liked coloring when I was a little kid, but I'm big now, and I don't.
Joel: It's not COLORING. It's DRAWING!
Jack: That's okay. I wanna play Legos anyway.

Who is Mother's Day for, Anyway?

Joel has a little friend named Jack.
Jack's mom is very nice.
Joel likes Jack's mom, too.
Joel is a big gift giver.
Sarah likes to help Joel shop for gifts.
Sarah said, yesterday, "Joel, let's go out and get a Mother's Day gift."
Joel asked, "For Jack's mom?"

My Baby loves Me. I love my Baby.

He could use a haircut, I could use a diet, but we love each other "real much."

Little Brother,Big Sister

He just wanted his picture taken with
the girl he loves most.

Shift Key Confusion

Joel drew a heart and put the words, "Dad, Mom, Joel" inside. He came to me and asked how to do the seven on the shift key. I was not paying full attention to his question, so I assumed.

"You mean how to spell it? S-e-v-e-n," I said, writing it.
"No, I mean like on the shift key."
Again, I manufactured an meaning. "OH, "seven" in capital letters?" I wrote that for him.
"No, I don't mean that. I mean like cursive on the shift key." Once more, I was confused. I was thinking "cursive font in captitals," so I wrote that.

He was getting exasperated, and I wasn't any closer to closing the brain gap.

"UH! I MEAN, the SHIFT KEY and the SEVEN that looks like this" (he drew something akin to a treble clef note.

EUREKA!

FINALLY it dawned on me. "Oh, the and sign?!"

"Yes! he cheered. "The and sign. Like Dad, Mom, & Joel." He was talking about the ampersand. Duh. So I taught him that word and he was duly excited.

I was thinking, "Wow, kid. I didn't know how to use the ampersand on the typewriter (yes I'm dating myself) until typing class in high school! Let alone remember that it's on the 7 key when I'm NOT typing!

Tear-free Shampoo is Good, but--

Joel was using his favorite shampoo (Suave for Kids, Cowabunga Coconut scent)yesterday in the shower as I helped him. He likes it because it smells great and is tear-free.

However, a few seconds after lathering it up, he sneezed. Once, then twice.

He concluded out loud, "They should make sneeze-free shampoo."

Ebay Mom

This afternoon Joel was being a real pest. You know how overtiredness just gets them obnoxious. So he, my sweet and precious angel baby, was bothering his big brother big time. I told him sternly, "Lay down on the bed. Just stay there till I tell you to get up."

He grumped and snarled and said, "I hate when you do this."

"I don't like when you do what you've done, honey. It's not right or good."

"Would you like me to buy another mom?" he threatened.

"Another mom? Where would you buy one?" I asked, trying not to smile.

'On eBay," he said. "They sell 'em."

We both cracked up, and he came running to me and threw his arms around me. "I love you, sweet Mommy," he said.

"I love you, too, sweet baby, but I didn't tell you could get up out of bed. I'm not going to change my mind just because you're all huggy-kissy and funny."

"You're not?"

"No. Maybe an eBay mom would, but not me."

In Good Hands

When Ben was three months old we went camping with a church group at Cunningham Falls in western Maryland.

I felt no fear about hiking and climbing as long as Paul was holding the baby close.

This is exactly how I picture myself in God's arms. So safe I can sleep while He does the carrying.

Benjie Jumping

Okay, so it's not a bungee jump, but it was his extreme sport of choice at age six months. I took this page from a scrapbook.

Baby Ben, 1988

Here's my baby Ben. The year was 1988. The event was Christmas. We just loved watching him open his presents because he was 9 months old and capable of appreciating a few (cheap) things. Boxes mostly, but he also was at that age of cause-and-effect fun.

I love this boy. It helps to take trips down Memory Lane to refresh the joys of motherhood. I remember this feeling of my cheek against his soft, wispy hair. I wish I could remember his giggle. It was priceless. Now it's deep and contagious, and still he has those wonderful dimples like his dad.

Father/son Moment 1989

One of my favorite pictures ever. Paul was so thrilled to be a dad, it was always hard for him to say goodbye to us in the morning. (Well, I exaggerate. I'm sure many days he was more than glad to go off to a less chaotic environment for 8 diaper-free hours.) But his homecoming at 5:10 every night was the highlight of my day, when he'd set his briefcase down, dial the combination, and watch Ben jump with excitement when the buttons would pop open and he could explore the contents inside. (Or at least peek. We weren't dumb enough to give him free rein. We were dumb about many things, but we learned on Ben. Poor kid. Probably explains a lot!) I find it heartwarming that Ben took an early interest in business (Daddy's briefcase) and now it's his major.

"Son of my Right Hand"

"He's such a happy baby!" everyone would say about Ben.
He smiled a lot, for sure. Maybe because he made me so happy and I was around him all day.

His name means "son of my right hand." Sure, the biblical meaning has more depth, but I tease him that ever since he was old enough to hold a vacuum hose, I gave him one of my jobs! To this day he has the cleanest room in the house. I kid you not.

Aren't those dimples just the cutest?

Ben, Way Back When

My firstborn, Benjamin Paul, will be 19 years old this month. This picture was taken when he was probably about 10-11 months old. (He didn't walk till 13 months, when I brought home baby sister Sarah.) He had three favorite toys: any ball, a play station (of sorts--the one in this picture) and Daddy's guitar. Not much has changed! Talk about a child's "bent." It's fun to look back and see the buds of personality and interests.

I remember thinking how mobile he was, how exhausting to chase, making sure he didn't hurt himself. Never imagined what it'd be like to wait up past midnight waiting for him to come home. His loud music in the car (which he claims is "so low, how can anyone in the neighborhood even hear it?), the garage door opening , signaling his homecoming. All things I'd miss if he weren't here but need grace for while he is.

This is How Much I...

Today Joel was helping Sarah declutter her room. I was at the computer. He handed me an index card that had a column of numbers on it. (It was a list of wreaths I sold for different amounts, and the total.)

The bottom line said 500.

He said, "Mom, do you need this?"

I looked it over and said, "No, it just shows how much I--"

"Weigh?" he asked.

Check this Out

Our whole family gets a kick daily out of Joel. He really lights up our lives.
Sarah, our 17 year old, wrote something she loves about him. Check it out at www.77thpsalm.blogspot.com. (Her blog is called Homeward Bound. My link button isn't working right today.)

Out of Your Own Head

Last night was the first in over two weeks that I felt well enough to cook a good meal. I felt so much better, in fact, that I treated my family to a meal of New York steak that I marinated with a little bit of this and that. Real mashed potatoes, a colorful salad with homemade honey mustard dressing, and--with Joel's help--a bright and artistically arranged platter of canteloupe, strawberries and bananas.

While we were working alongside each other, Joel says to me, "Did you get this from Rachael Ray or did you think of it out of your own head?"

Free-hand Batman Icon

This piece utterly amazed me. Joel took a piece of black construction paper (full size) and --without tracing or steciling or even drawing an outline first-- cut out this Batman icon with scissors. Not only was he just a few days shy of five years old, the amazing thing to me was that this gift is inherited from his great-great grandfather Nickel. My father used to watch his grandfather take a piece of paper or tin foil and cut out freehand pictures of a galloping horse, proud stag, or eagle in flight. Sometimes he did it with his eyes closed. To me this is such a testimony of God's wonderful creative genius being repeated throughout the generations!