Kidbits

How to Make Puppies

2011-06-23T07:59:00.000-07:00

Joel asked this while petting the (neutered) dog.

"Mom, what does a dog need to produce puppies?"

I repeated the question, though I'd heard him just fine (a familiar stall tactic of every nervous parent).

Then I said, "Um, it needs a male and a female."

He said, "That's all? And food and water too, right?"

Fish funny

2011-05-16T08:12:00.000-07:00

I was reading Matthew 17 today to Joel. At the end of the chapter, Jesus tells Peter to go hook the first fish and pull a piece of money out of its mouth.

Joel blurted out, "Hey! It was a goldfish! Get it?"

Special Wormie, Bad Dog, Founding Fathers

2011-05-03T13:34:00.000-07:00

Our fifteen month old golden Retriever can't be trusted not to pick stuff up that doesn't belong to him. Today he got hold of Wormie, an 18-inch white stuffed sock puppet that Joel made in second grade.

Reilly tore the eyes off, which made Joel understandably very, very angry and hurt. In his anger, he threw the eyes into the bottom of the trash.

He carried on and on. "Wormie was special to me! I hate Reilly. I'm never gonna look at him again. I'm never gonna feed him, never play with him even if he looks cute cuz he's not, he's ugly. He doesn't deserve anything he has! He only deserves to go back to his old owner that didn't take care of him!"

I asked Joel if he wanted to take the eyes out of the trash; he could glue them back on.

"No. He will never be the same!"

"How about if I sew the eyes back on? He'll look just fine."

"No, he won't, Mom. Even if you make me a brand new Wormie, I'll still be angry. It's like the Declaration of Independence."

I was stumped. Where'd that analogy come from?

"What do you mean, honey?"

"I mean a copy of the Declaration of Independence just isn't valuable. Only the original thing is!"

Fact or Opinion?

2010-09-28T11:05:00.000-07:00

This morning Joel had to discern , for his English assignment, between fact and opinion by writing a sentence for each. For fact he wrote, "My family is weird."

I chuckled and said, "Joel, that's an opinion, because it can be argued. Not everyone might agree." He nodded his head confidently. "Oh, yes they would, Mom. Our family IS weird. That's a fact!"

Amish Work Ethic

2010-07-14T12:39:00.000-07:00

I decided today was a good day to teach Joel how to clean a bathroom. I started him off easy, just doing the half-bath.

Not even three minutes into cleaning, he moans and says ,"Mom, I'm turning Amish ,working so hard!"

Let Me Be Really Clear

2010-06-21T20:15:00.001-07:00

We were driving through western Maryland, Joel in the backseat, Paul and I up front.
Joel was singing and chatting and playing with his new wrist bands, the current fad.

He stopped rather abruptly and said, "Mom, your nose is divine."

I turned around, smiled, and said, "Divine? Thanks." (I've never liked my schnoz.)

"Wait," he said, "what does divine mean?"

"Heavenly," I answered.

"No, no. I meant defined."

"Defined? What do you mean?" I asked, now the curious one.

"Let me be really clear," he said matter-of-factly. "Your nose is long."

Misquoted

2010-04-03T17:11:00.000-07:00

I've been getting sicker by the day, and was feeling really lousy yesterday--coughing, fever, achey, sleeping a lot. Joel was home with me, as it was Good Friday. I was wearing mismatched PJ's, hadn't brushed my hair, no make-up, of course, and generally had that "I look like I feel" appearance.

The doorbell rang. I panicked and hoped it was only a FedEx drop.

Joel said, "I'll look out the window and see who it is." It was Bob, our neighbor, and I figured he was reminding us to please pick up his mail and newspaper. No need for a face-to-face encounter with me.

I grabbed Joel's shoulder with one hand and pointed to my clothes and hair with the other. Then I mouthed the words, "Tell him I can't come to the door." Then I hid in the stairwell of the basement, out of sight, but within earshot.

"Hey, Joel, how are you? Is your mom home?"
"Uh, yes, she's home. But she told me to say she looks horrible."

Silladation

2010-02-23T21:05:00.001-08:00

"Mom, is 'silladation' a word?" I said, "How do you spell it?" He said, "I don't know. I thought you would." I asked him what it means. "Mom, I don't even know if 'silladation' is a word, so how would I know what it means?"

Hail? no

2010-02-03T09:24:00.000-08:00

Today I enjoyed the ride in to school with Joel at 10:30. (Snow delay, so we were chatting about weather.)

His voice was sweet. I love that it's still high, and regret that I can't remember exactly when his older brothers' voices changed. So I tuned in carefully as much to the melody of his voice as to the words he was saying.

Per usuale, football entered the conversation. His segue from weather to football was exquisite for a second grader:

"Mom, I don't like blizzards...or hail. But I like hail Marys! Like when I'm running with the football and yell, "hail Mary!" and the guy in the end zone goes deep and catches it. That's really cool."

Beauty "Defined" by the Young Negotiator

2010-01-29T07:03:00.000-08:00

A girl loves to be pampered, but often a pricetag comes with it. Despite my hope that my seven-year-old son, Joel, would agree to just playing with my hair for ten minutes in return for all I do for him, I knew negotiations were about to ensue. The child is a born businessman.

"Hey, Joel, would you like to style my hair?"
"For money?" he asked, bright-eyed.
"No, for pleasure," I said.
"For YOUR pleasure, you mean."
"Yes."
"How about for 20 cents?" he chimed.
"How about for nothing, nothing but love?"
"How about for 2 cents?" he persisted.
"Well...is your 20-cent hairstyle any different from your 2-cent one?"
"No," he admitted. "It just lasts longer."

I caved and signed up for the 20-center.

------
A few minutes later, as he is brushing hair back behind my ears, smoothing it down
with his soft, nimble fingers:
"I'm making it look defined," he said.
"You're making me look divine?" (I pretended to misunderstand.)
"No, I said 'defined.' Simple yet elegant."

Where does he get this stuff?

"Wait! That Wouldn't be Good for Me!"

2010-01-25T20:30:00.000-08:00

Sarah started at Towson U today in the education program. The class she had at noon is taught by a professor who tells corny jokes the whole time. Sarah said, "He's worse than you, actually, Mom. Seriously."

Joel piped up, "Mom should just break up with Dad and marry that guy!"

And then he paused, thought about it, and said, "Wait! No, never mind. Don't do that. That wouldn't be good for me!"

I'm a Scientist

2010-01-16T15:59:00.000-08:00

Joel was trying over and over to get a cheap plastic Slinky to go down the carpeted steps. After watching his pereseverence mingled with sighs, I said, "Joel, I just don't think that's ever going to work."

He said, "I'm a scientist. I keep going."

Chinese Waiter

2009-09-21T07:45:00.000-07:00

After church yesterday, we went to Hunan Chef for lunch. The waiter who took our order
did not speak very good English. The guy who served our food and refilled our drinks, however, was quite fluent in our language.

I didn't realize the fluent waiter had barely walked away when Joel said, "He must have used Rosetta Stone."

We all cracked up.

The guy returned in a few minutes with more rice, and asked if everything was okay, and did we want more tea, he'd bring a new pot. We said more tea would be great, thanks. He headed to the kitchen.

Joel piped up again, "Yeh, that guy DEFINITELY used Rosetta Stone!"

Changed His Mind about Being a Dad

2009-09-08T13:26:00.000-07:00

A few months ago (when he was maybe six or just turned seven), Joel told me he didn't want to be a dad because "It's WAY too hard to raise a child."

Well, he changed his mind recently. Last night on the way to WalMart he said, "Mom, remember how I said I didn't want to be dad? Well, now I do."

"Oh, really?" I asked. "How come?"

"Because if you're a dad, you can just say, 'Bring me some chips' and your kid has to bring you chips. Or you say 'please hang this phone back up' and your kid has to hang it up."

Trying to hide my smile, I said, "So, then, you mean you want to have kids as slaves?"

"Yes. Exactly. I'm Slave Number 4."

What "Corny" Means

2009-09-03T18:46:00.003-07:00

Joel had to accompany me to my Weight Watchers meeting yesterday (poor little guy). What 7 year old enjoys that?--
especially when, at the end, the leader says to the group, "Okay, now, I want everyone to stand and learn a cheer."

A cheer? Seriously? My cheerleading days ended in 10th grade. I'm grown up now. I don't pay 12 bucks a week to feel like an idiot. But if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. So we stood.

The leader gets everyone to stand and cross their arms below the waist, wrists up. Then she leads us in the "cheer" : we uncross them in a (less than) exuberant sweep while saying "hip, hip, away". That's it.

A few minutes later, after we were in the van, Joel says, "Hip, hip hooray? Mom, that cheer was dumb."

"Well, it wasn't 'hip, hip, hooray, it was 'hip, hip, away, as in 'make our big hips go away.'"

'That's just--"

"Corny?" I asked.

"Yeh, corny. You know what 'corny' means? It means "clever in a dumb sort of way.' "

If I Were a Mother

2009-08-31T08:15:00.000-07:00

Riding down to Myrtle Beach last week, Joel and I sat in the very backseat for part of the journey. He grabbed my arm and stroked it lovingly. Then he said,

"If I were a mother--which is never gonna happen--and you were my child--which is also never gonna happen--I would say, 'You mean the world to me.' Why do mothers say that?"

Lost Dog Sign

2009-07-22T12:23:00.001-07:00

Joel and I were on our way to Jerusalem Mill for a hike with our dog, Molly, when he spotted a "lost dog" sign.

He then started telling me what he would put on a sign if Molly got lost:

LOST DOG. 8 YEARS OLD. GOLDEN RETRIEVER. LOVES BREEZY DAYS AND CAR RIDES. SLOBBERS ALL THE TIME. NEVER EVER BRUSHES HER TEETH. NO CASH VALUE. ANSWERS TO MOLLY.

Economy of a Seven-Year-Old

2009-06-15T09:47:00.000-07:00

He asked me to play store with him today. He was setting the prices and running the cash register. I was his sole customer.

I bought movies, shirts, board games, a treadmill. a cookbook, a laundry basket, some towels, and other miscellany from around the basement "store."

I asked him how much for the piece of Escher art?

"Well, do you know how I figure the price of art? By square feet, or feet square, whatever."

He made a tiny frame using the thumb and forefiinger of each hand, then held it up from across the room, framing the art. I estimated silently: two square feet and wondered if he'd think two dollars per.

"Um, four dollars, please."
I was so tickled.
"You're a good estimator of square feet, " I said, impressed by my first grader. His teacher introduced them to that concept, one which I hadn't heard of till middle school.

"Thanks. What else do you wanna buy?" he asked.
"Ummm... how about the dog?"

We both took a good look at our trusty old golden retriever who was taking yet another nap on the laundry room floor.

"Oh, 36.99," Joel said, sighing. "She's not a very fast-running dog."
"She's not?" I asked.
"No, she can't even catch a squirrel. So just give me 36 dollars."

It was all I could do not to burst out laughing. He's such a serious little businessman.

I Don't Ever Want to be a Daddy

2009-05-19T14:36:00.000-07:00

Yearbooks were distributed yesterday and Joel was reading me the things his classmates said in response to a questionnaire.

"Mom, do you know what Iris wants to be when she grows up? A mommy."

"That's great, honey. I hope God makes her a mommy someday."

"Well, I don't ever want to be a daddy," he replied adamantly.

"Oh? Why not?" I asked.

"Cuz ! It is WAY too hard to raise a child!"

Fridge and Magnet

2009-05-12T06:52:00.000-07:00

Joel gave me a big, tight hug this morning.

"Boy, you're huggy today!" I said warmly.

"I'm the refrigerator and you're the magnet," he said.

I love that analogy. Just SO glad he didn't say it the other way around.

Poor Lynxes

2009-05-10T22:30:00.000-07:00

Joel was reading a book about baby animals in the van last week.

"Mom, did you know that baby lynxes are called kits or cubs?"

"Yeh, I think I knew that."

"Did you know they weigh six to ten pounds when they're born?"

"No, I didn't know that."

"And did you know they're poor?"

"Poor?" I wondered aloud. "Why are they poor?"

"Because. " he said sadly, "they only have dirt homes to live in, not real ones."

You're my master

2009-04-21T10:11:00.000-07:00

Joel and I were doing artwork together today. He is innately more gifted and talented than I. In fact, I don't believe I am gifted in art, but I enjoy practicing and teaching it to children. Joel, on the other hand, could make a career of it when he grows up. We've seen God-given ability in him since he was three.

So, there we were at the table, me with my pastels, he with his pencil. My project was half finished when he started his.

"Mom," he said, matter-of-factly. "You're my master."

I laughed. "What? Your master?"

"Yeh. You taught me how to draw. You're my master."

Interview

2009-04-13T09:22:00.001-07:00

Upon waking this morning, I asked Joel a few questions.

Me: How tall am I?
J: Four sixteen . (I am 5'4". Good job.)
Me: What am I good at?
J: Piano and art. But what you're BEST at it is laughing.
Me: What am I bad at?
J: Running. I've never seen you run. (Probably not.)
Me: How do you know I love you?"
J: You snuggle me and you buy me toys for reading 21 books.
Me: If I became famous, what would it be for?
J: Well, if you were skinny, it'd be for a model.
Me: I'm trying to lose weight, Joel. Don't know if I'll ever be skinny.
J: That's okay. I love you just the way you are.

Honestly, I didn't name him for Billy Joel.

Human Nature

2009-04-10T14:37:00.000-07:00

Joel was snuggling next to me as I was trying to do my Bible study on the sofa. He had just started his first long chapter book and was rather chatty about it. I engaged him in a brief conversation, but wanted to start (and finish) my study.

He kept talking sweetly, but nonetheless, he was keeping me from concentrating.

"Honey," I said, "I need to have some quiet time now. You can stay here only if you don't talk, okay?"

"But Mom," he replied. "It's human nature to talk."

Rewind Time

2009-04-10T14:25:00.000-07:00

Joel: Mom, I wish I could rewind time.
Me: How come?
Joel: Because if I was going to get in trouble, I wouldn't do it.

Red Envelopes

2009-04-07T12:29:00.000-07:00

Joel noticed this morning, that on the organ, was Sarah's stack of about 20 red envelopes for the pro-life campaign. He came into the kitchen to tell me.

"That's weird, Mom, "he said, "Out in the living room is a bunch of mail for Barack Obama. All the envelopes are red."

"Oh, yeah, they're to try to get the President to change his mind about abortion."

"Abortion? What's that?" Joel asked.

At the tender age of seven, he needed a soft but direct answer.

"It's killing a baby before it's born."

"But why would someone do that?"

"Different reasons, but mainly because a mother doesn't want the responsibility of her child."

He got quiet, looked tenderly up at me as I unloaded the dishwasher, then said, "But you have responsibility of me, right, Mom?"

"Right, honey," I said, stopping to hug him. "I wanted you so much I could hardly wait to have the responsibility of you."

You Smell Like ...

2009-03-25T09:21:00.000-07:00

Last night my seven-year-old Joel and I made a chocolate cake just before his shower. By the time he was out, the smell of cake wafted through the whole house.

"Mmm, can you smell that cake?" I asked him, wide-eyed. I was standing in the bedroom doorway while he was at his dresser finding clothes.

"I can't smell anything," he said.

"You can't?"

"Nope. Well, except I can smell you," he corrected, putting pants on.

"What do I smell like?" I asked, dubiously.

"Love."

I melted inside but didn't say anything. Just smiled.
He asked, "I thought you were gonna say, 'aww' and then hug me and I was gonna say 'Stop hugging me!'"

What Obama Drank Yesterday

2009-01-21T09:40:00.001-08:00

Our six-year old keeps abreast of politics in this house. Naturally he had heard and seen much of the inauguration of Barack "Obamis" (as he pronounces it).

I was putting Joel to bed and he got the giggles.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"Do you know what Obamis drank today?" he asked.

"No," I answered. "What?"

"Egg nog," Joel replied.

"Egg nog?" I asked?

"Yeh. He drank egg nog at the egg-nogural ceremony."

That was pretty good. He made it up all by his lonesome.

Hey, Miss, Can you Spare a Dime?

2008-12-19T15:20:00.000-08:00

Last night Joel accompanied me to Barnes & Noble for a couple of Christmas gifts. While browsing near the back of the store, he told me he needed to go to the bathroom. Well, when I'm all's he got for potty partnering, I don't let him use the men's room. I'm phobic that way.

So I scoped out the ladies' room. Coast was clear. I ushered him in and he starts doing what he's there for. I stood outside his stall while he tells me it's weird that he makes bubbles when he pees. A lady comes in just as he's telling me this. She grins as if to say, "How cute."

When he came out, he washed his hands and then looked for a paper towel. There were none. He didn't see electric hand dryers either. But then he spotted a feminine product dispenser with a sign that read "Napkins 10c".

He looked at me and, matter-of-factly said, "If I had ten cents, I would buy a napkin."

The Jelly Hose

2008-12-10T14:09:00.000-08:00

Joel and I were snuggling on the sofa, under a blanket, singing Christmas carols last night. His sweet little face and voice were within three inches of mine, and I was studying his precious mouth, his young smile, his delightful singing voice...trying to package it in my memory for all time. I was waxing sappy when...

...we got to the part in the song that goes, "With th'angelic host proclaim..." and I saw and heard what he thought were the words.

"With the jelly hose proclaim, 'Christ is born in Bethlehem!'"

how Old is a Woman?

2008-12-05T21:03:00.001-08:00

I ran errands today with Stephen (17) and Joel (6). While waiting in the van together for Stephen to run into a store for me, Joel asked me, "How old is a woman?"

'Do you mean how old do you have to be to be a woman?" I asked.

"Yeh."

I thought a moment and opted NOT to give him the birds-and-bees answer. Instead I said, "Oh, I'd say 18."

He paused. "Oh, so then Stephen's almost a woman?"

Then he laughed all over himself. He was still laughing when Stephen came out. (So was I.)

Balleret

2008-10-01T06:52:00.001-07:00

Last night Joel and I got to talking about heights of children in his first/second grade combined class.

He remarked that one girl "is taller than me when she stands on her tippy toes, which she does a lot because she takes balleret."

"You mean ballet?"

"Thank you very much," he answered matter-of-factly.

"For what? I asked

"For saying that word like a girl. I'm not a girl so I can't say it."

No Plastic Edges, Please

2008-08-17T22:04:00.000-07:00

I sort of overcooked an overeasy egg for Joel a while back. You know how the membrane gets a bit crisp and crusty when that happens?

Well, when I served it, he examined it, scowled, and then asked sweetly, "May I please have one without plastic edges?"

Lego Guys

2008-06-12T08:00:00.001-07:00

We were coming home from church and, out of the blue, Joel asked, "How come Lego guys don't have noses?"

Christian Meal

2008-05-16T08:05:00.000-07:00

Joel and I sat down to the simplest of favorite comfort foods for lunch yesterday: Kraft Macaroni & Cheese.

After three bites, his eyes sparkle at me across the table.

"Mmm," he said. "This is one good Christian meal."

Orange Blood

2008-05-07T06:21:00.000-07:00

Joel scraped his foot the other day while playing , shoeless, on the wooden deck.

"Mom, can I have Bandaid?"

"Why?"

"Cuz I have orange blood."

"Let me see."

Sheepishly he replied, "Nooo."

"Then you can't have a Bandaid because I've never heard of orange blood."

"Orange blood hurts worser than red blood," he declared.

"Worser? Oh, okay, then, you better use two Bandaids."

Bad Song

2008-03-26T19:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday as we traveled in the van listening to the radio, the song "Give Me Jesus" came on.

Joel heard this--

"When I come to die, oh, oh, when I come to die,
When I come to die, just give me Jesus.
Give me Jesus, give me Jesus,
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus."

Joel interrupted and said, "Mom, this is a bad song."

"No, it's not," I said, "it's good. Why do you say it's bad?"

"Cuz," said Joel. "He said 'give me Jesus.'"

"What's wrong with that?"

"He should say, 'May I please have Jesus?"

Source of Skill

2008-03-23T12:09:00.000-07:00

A few days ago Joel and I were cooking together.

"Mom, how did you learn to cook so well?"

"From practicing a long time."

"Oh. I thought it was from reading cookbooks."

Scent of a Woman, Namely a Mother

2008-02-26T07:24:00.000-08:00

Joel was helping me make his birthday cake on the 14th and, in the middle of it, as he stood on a chair beside me, he hugged me . "Mmmm, MOm, you smell so good!"

"I do? Thanks. What do I smell like?"

"Like butter."

Maybe I should stop shopping at Macy's perfume counter and instead go to Safeway?

Forget not what?

2008-01-28T20:44:00.000-08:00

This week's curriculum has us studying the elephant. The elephant is said to have a good memory.

The Bible verse this week is Psalm 103:2 , which says, "Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits.

Joel was reading it aloud for the first time, and out tumbled these words:

"Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His elephants."

Ice Cream Cone

2008-01-18T21:03:00.001-08:00

By 5 pm, Joel was my only kid home this Friday. Ben was snowboarding, Sarah was at work, Stephen was staying over at Eric's.

I felt like treating Joel to something special.

"How about ice cream?" he said, as we drove a familiar route to Broom's Blooms Dairy.
He was thrilled. Ice cream BEFORE dinner! But as we drove , he kept getting sleepier, and I kept asking, "you want to go home instead?" He kept saying no.

We pulled into the lot and I said, "Do you still want me to get you an ice cream cone?"

"I want the ice cream, too!" he said.

Foreigner

2008-01-18T20:57:00.000-08:00

While we were eating ice cream I asked Joel to tell me some of his favorite memories. I used prompts. What's your favorite memory about....a dog? He said, "Lady." (Our previous dog.) I said, "Joel, you can't remember her. She died when you were just 8 months old.

"Oh." (Takes another lick of the ice cream.")

"What is your favorite memory of a foreigner?" I asked.

"What's a foreigner?" he asked.

I was too tired to give a precise answer, so out came a lazy one. "A foreigner is someone not from around here," I said.

"Oh, I know! That kid from New Hamster!"

OMBG

2008-01-16T14:57:00.000-08:00

Joel was tattling on someone for using the Lord's name in vain.
Pointing his index finger heavenward, "Mom, he said 'oh my Big Guy.'"

New Hamster

2008-01-06T11:23:00.000-08:00

Sarah left Friday to visit her friend Leslie in New Hampshire.

Joel couldn't get the name right. He kept saying "New Hamster."

"Are you gonna bring me a new hamster?" he'd ask.

"No, but I can send you a postcard."

"Of a new hamster?"

It wouldn't surprise me if Sarah came home with a fake hamster for her little brother.

Massage at the grocery store

2007-12-19T14:23:00.000-08:00

Joel and I were in the produce aisle. While I was getting snow peas, he was putting his hands all over the broccoli. We were going to fix Chinese chicken satay with veggies for dinner.

"I'm massaging the broccoli," he announced.

"Well, please don't, honey. Would YOU want to eat broccoli that other people have touched so much?"

"Yup, I would!"

We finished our shopping, got in line, and started checking out After a couple minutes, I noticed he had his hands all over the boneless, skinless chicken.. Before I had a chance to ask, he announced rather loudly, "I'm massaging the breasts!"

The cashier almost spit out her gum laughing.

Cracked

2007-12-18T08:20:00.001-08:00

I made Joel wear something today he didn't think was cool. He threw a little fit, started crying, the works. He topped it with,"You've put a crack in my heart!"

Not a Big Fan

2007-12-07T19:03:00.001-08:00

Tonight was Joel's co-0p Christmas presentation. This morning I was prepping him by telling him what he'd wear.

"Holiday clothes," I said. "That's what the email said kids should wear. No t-shirts and jeans."
I showed him the long-sleeved red polo and black corduroys he was going to put on.

"I'll look like a nerd," he said. "I don't even like red anymore."
"Too bad," I said, "and you won't look like a nerd. All the kids will be wearing Christmas colors."

He whined and sulked and finally I said, "Keep it up, young man, and you'll land yourself in trouble."

"I'm just not a big fan of the holidays!" he said.

"Okay, I'll take back all your presents, then," I said. "They're for the holidays."

"Well, I am a big fan of presents, but not holidays."

"You mean holiday clothes?"

"Yeh, holiday clothes."

--------------
He wore the red and black tonight.

My Comparable Value

2007-12-01T09:56:00.000-08:00

I discovered my inherent worth as a mom last night. Here's how:

Back in September Joel and I were in Barnes and Noble when he spotted a Star Wars sticker book. He loved it. Had to have it. Now. It was sooooo cool, after all.

It was $11!!I wasn't just going to outright buy it on the spot when he wanted it (though I've been known to give into his requests for anything artistic or literary).

But I would reward him with it IF he worked for it. He read (or had read to him) 50 books. The Star Wars book is now his very own.

He loves it. Though he's had it for 2 weeks, he's as much enamored of it as the day he first coveted the book. I must say, it's the classiest sticker book I've ever seen (and I've seen a lot).

Last night he was very affectionate, hugging me, wanting to snuggle, stroking my cheek and telling me it's soft as a baby's bottom.

Then, with starry eyes, he said these words: "I love you twice as much as I love my Star Wars sticker book!"

(Billy?) Joel's Sweetness

2007-11-28T08:08:00.001-08:00

My sweet boy was snuggling me at naptime the other day. I've been dieting and told him, "Guess what? I've lost seven pounds already!"

"No!" he said. "Don't lose weight. I love you just the way you are."

-----------------------

Then I said, "Aww, honey, you're so sweet, but I need to lose weight. I'm happy I've lost 7 so far."

He stroked my side kind of analytically. "Yep, you feel 7-ish," he said.

Oh, She's Such a Bad Sister

2007-11-25T17:23:00.000-08:00

Sarah came in from shopping for a few family members, Joel included.
He asked, "What did you get me?"
She: Can't tell ya.
He: Tell me!
She: A Barbie in a bikini.
He: (clenching his jaw) I won't appreciate that.
She: A baby doll.
He: Nuh-uh. I won't like that. Now, tell me the truth.
She: Okay......(singing) "My Little Pony, My Little Pony..."
He: Errrgh! Take it back!
She: All right, but you won't have anything from me.
He: Uh-huh! I think you'll get me Lego Star Wars.
She: If I do, do you think I'll tell you?
He: Yes, you will.

The Kind of Family we Aren't

2007-11-23T15:13:00.000-08:00

I don't think she meant to be, but Sarah's description of our family is funny to me. Especially the line, "we're not the kind of family that makes other families jealous."

My childhood dream to grow up and be the matriarch of the new Waltons has just been crushed.

Read her blog post here, on Nov 22 "Giving Thanks," where she also refers to our home as sometimes "more of a war zone than a shelter." Tis true, we ain't the Cleavers, she adds, but rather the kind other people can look at and say of their own, "guess we aren't so bad after all."

I doubt we'll be making our debut on NBC anytime soon as the Ideal Family. Sniff, sniff .

Side Effects

2007-11-19T08:47:00.000-08:00

Joel's been sick for a week, with terrible nasal congestion, fever, headache, and cough.

Saturday morning I gave him Tylenol and said, "Honey, can I pray for your pain?"

"I don't have pain," he said. "I have side effects." Then he blew his nose, very productively.

"Side effects?" I asked. "You mean a sinus infection?"

"Yeh, sinus affection."

Making Me Feel the Way He Sees Me

2007-11-18T07:29:00.000-08:00

Joel and I were taking an online quiz this morning to determine what kind of superhero we each are. There are about 30 yes/no questions.

One of them is, "Are you beautiful?"

I clicked on "No."

He said, "Yes, you are! You're beautiful." Then he took the mouse from me and changed the
answer.

I melted.

The Amazing Spider-Man and his Patient Superdog

2007-11-14T20:41:00.000-08:00

For Halloween this year, Joel was Spider-Man.

I bought the costume about 2 weeks earlier and he dressed up in it every day. He used last year's costume (Superman pj's) to torture the dog.

One of the houses we were approaching while trick-or-treating, had a little dog dressed up in a cape, sitting so still we couldn't tell if he was fake or real. Joel tiptoes and looked over his shoulder at me, "I have a bad feeling about this."

The dog was real. Real harmless.

Being Sick isn't Funny, but ...

2007-11-14T20:24:00.000-08:00

Joel is funny even when he isn't feeling well. He's been congested since Sunday, had a cough, fever and fatique, with occasional bouts of puking.

1) Last night he felll asleep in bed next to his daddy. When I came to bed, Joel stirred a bit ,

I said, "Let me blow your nose, honey. Sit up a minute."

He sat up but shook his head and protested hoarsely, "Nooooo, nooooo! Dad does it better than you." I agreed, but made him blow his nose for me anyway.

2) This morning he came down the steps and I heard him crying. He looked so pathetic. I said, "What's wrong, buddy?" He pointed to his nose and said, "Snot!"

3) Ben cleaned his own room thoroughly yesterday. NOthing out of place, everything sanitized, wiped down, vacuumed. However, when I peeked in and saw Joel sprawled out on the bed playing a video game, I glanced at the window sill. There, lined up as neat as a row of soldiers, were about ten dirty kleenexes.

What's a Dinosaur Made of, Anyway?

2007-11-03T19:12:00.000-07:00

In co-op art class today, our lesson was on texture. We had quite a variety of cut up pieces of things highly textured. They were to use whatever they wanted to make a paper bag puppet.

But little Matthew (in Joel's class) didn't want anything but red bumpy triangles of paper for his Tyrannosaurus Rex. Oh, and a tad bit of foil.

When I OFfered him fuzzy yars, he looked at me as if to educate me and said seriously, "Dinosaurs don't have fur."

Turtle Fact Sheet

2007-10-31T09:53:00.000-07:00

We started today by talking about how turtles are an example of perseverance. They may move slowly, but they don't give up. We memorized Hebrews 12:1. "Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."

Then we looked up facts about turtles. I asked Joel to dictate a fact sheet to me, recalling all we had read and talked about. Here's what he told me. I especially like the second fact. :)

10 FACTS ABOUT BOX TURTLES.

1. They like to swim in shallow streams.
2. Turtles don’t give up in races.
3. Most of the time they live in the forest.
4. They eat meat and plants when they are young, but plants when they are adults.
5. They can be little or big.
6. The ones in pet stores often are infected with salmonella, which is nasty bacteria.
7. “Fear the turtle” is the slogan of the University of Maryland Terrapins.
8. They can drink water.
9. Their shells protect them from other animals.
10. Turtles don’t eat if they are too cold or stressed.

Now!

2007-10-24T20:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I called to my 16-year old, "Stephen! I want you to take the trash out now!"

He came up, chortling. "You should've heard Joel," he told me, lifting the garbage bag. " We were playing XBox and he said, "You know what 'now' means, Stephen? It means not later, not when you feel like it, now!"

Someone's sounding like Dad more and more all the time.

More Kindergarten Komedy

2007-09-07T20:45:00.000-07:00

Joel and I have been reviewing letter sounds. A few days ago came this gem from our little homeschooled kindergartener. This anecdote will serve you, whether you're judgmental or self-righteous. It is what it is:

I got to the letter "f" and asked him to tell me five words that start with that letter.

He paused, looked remorseful and yet curious, then asked, "You mean good words?"

-------------------------------

Today we were reviewing the sound that the letter "r" makes. I asked him for five words that start with that letter.

He was looking around the room for clues, so I helped him with the first one.

"If you are not poor, you are ---"

"Happy!" he said.

Right Letter, Wrong Language

2007-09-07T10:50:00.000-07:00

It's Day 3 of kindergarten. Joel reads very well, but we were reviewing sounds that the letters A-H make. Using big flashcards, each with a picture, I asked Joel to say the sound and then five more words (besides the picture) that the letter starts with.

He was having a hard time thinking of examples for the letter "h".

So I gave him some clues.

I waved my hand. "Okay, when you greet someone, what do you say?"

He furrowed his brow in thought, then replied, "Hola?"

Bed-Man

2007-09-04T07:27:00.000-07:00

Down in Myrtle Beach we were driving along Route 17 and Joel was reading every sign he could.

One was the name of a mattress store, but there were no clues to that fact.

He read aloud, "Bed-Man? Is he a superhero?"

Pool Funnies on Vacation

2007-08-29T11:18:00.000-07:00

We're on vacation and in the pool this morning, Sarah was telling Joel to lay more horizontal when he swims. He tried it. He went under a little and got water up his nose. She lifted him up and said, "That was easy, wasn't it?"

"No, it wasn't easy!" he said, coughing a bit.

"Yes, it was. You swam farther."

"No, it wasn't!" he insisted. "It's my life!"

--------------------------------------------------------------
A few minutes later Sarah saw me getting ready to head into the pool.

"Joel," she said eagerly, "Here comes Mom!"

"Oh, no," he groaned. "She's not stylish enough."

Let them be Little--a video

2007-08-21T09:51:00.000-07:00

My Stephen made a very sweet and touching video of Joel
this week. It's Joel as a baby.
Have five years really come and gone that fast?

Click on http://zoanna.blogspot.com/2007/08/let-them-be-little.html.

Bathroom Issues

2007-08-15T14:16:00.000-07:00

After lunch there was the usual bit of tidying up to be done by everyone. Toys, books, art supplies, junk mail to be put where it goes.

"Joel, these action figures don't go on the table. They go with your toys."

"Sarah, would you please load the dishes?"

"Stephen, can you take this basket of clothes upstairs?" I asked as he walked in the house from the mailbox. He dropped the mail on the table.

I flipped through it and said, "Oh, goody! Here's my new issue of Real Simple."

"That goes in the bathroom," Joel said, without missing a beat.

Git the boy some learnin', ma'am!

2007-08-09T15:03:00.000-07:00

Joel was so excited today when a box of his kindergarten homeschool curriculum showed up.

"This is cool stuff, Joel. I'll teach you starting next month!"

"I want to be teached now," he said.

Think I should have ordered the kid a grammar book?

Suppository

2007-08-02T11:58:00.001-07:00

Early this week Joel had been complaining about a stomach ache for two days. I questioned him for how long it had been since he pooped. Neither of us (nor anyone else who wipes him) could remember.

On the third day he let me give him a glycerin suppository. Twenty minutes later he had a good, healthy "go." While I was wiping him, I asked, "So, do you feel better?"

"Yeah! Much, MUCH Better! I can't believe that worked so fast!"

Then yesterday I was all nervous about playing keyboard for the first time at care group, but didn't voice my nerves. All I said, sort of half out loud to no one in particular in the kitchen was, "Man, my stomach hurts!"

To which Joel promptly prescribed a cure.

"Well, just stick one of those things up your butt!"

Playing Dad

2007-07-25T07:18:00.001-07:00

Joel cracked me up last night. I was scrapbooking in the basement, and everyone else had gone upstairs. Jeol was ready for bed. Rather matter-of-factly, he turned to me and said, "Be sure to turn everything off and lock up."

Popular Pie

2007-07-10T19:57:00.000-07:00

Sarah , Joel, and I were sitting in the van tonight waiting for Stephen to finish up night 2 of driver's ed.

We had Christian radio on. At 9 a.m. a preacher began his message with this line:

"Sex is the most natural high....."

Sarah and I pretended not to hear him, but to distract Joel. It was no use. Joel giggled.

"What did the man say?" I asked.

He giggled again. Then he answered:

"Sex is the most popular pie in the world."

Distort-a-Boy

2007-07-09T12:59:00.000-07:00

Joel told me to take his pictures while he showed off his "skinny-ness." Ribs and all, here's my baby.

Then he jumped back in the sprinkler.

June 2007, Age 5

Ruined Life

2007-06-28T10:12:00.000-07:00

Stephen brought Joel to me. Joel was in tears; Stephen was trying to stifle a laugh.

"He ruined my life!" Joel said, throwing himself dramatically onto the bed, curling up in fetal position.

"Who ruined your life? And how?" I asked.

"Stephen did! He beat me in Trouble."

Military vs. Civilian

2007-06-06T20:23:00.000-07:00

Tonight I heard Joel playing war with two action figures.

"Kill all the civilians!" he said authoritatively.

I piped up and asked, "Joel, do you know what a civilian is?"

"No."

"It's someone not in the military. Do you know what the military is?"

"No."

"Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines. Is Dad in the military?" I asked, to see if he understood.

"No, he's in bed."

In a what?

2007-05-31T08:30:00.000-07:00

Joel's disobedience and disrespect earned him a spanking today. But I must confess the way I did it was probably less than ideal (My lame excuse is that I'm congested and feel run down physically.)

He had acted up in the van when it was impossible to receive immediate consequences. Yet he was warned.

So here we were in Sarah's room, with her on the bed and me in the chair. I said, "Joel, bend over. You're getting a spanking for doing that fake cry to try to get your way. " He bent over. "And while you're bent over, I'm gonna spank you for everything else you've done wrong today." I felt silly saying that and started to chuckle.

"Oh, that's real effective parenting, Mom, " Sarah said.

"And you're in a propriate," Joel said, laughing.

"In a what?" I said, losing all composure.

"A propriate," he repeated.

"No, I'm not, " I said, 'you're gonna get 3 swats." And he did.

Sarah then took out the Bible and began Proverbs to him. "He who spares the rod hates his son," it says, "If Mom and Dad hated you, they wouldn't spank you, but they love you,"

"You're reading it wrong!" he insisted.

"No, read it for yourself," Sarah said, and showed him Proverbs 13:24. He read out loud word by word, "He . Who. Spares. The. Rod. Hates. His. Son."

He was had. Then he was cheerful.

That's what I call a "propriate" response to discipline!~)

Belly Laugh Cures Belly Ache

2007-05-29T14:40:00.000-07:00

Today Joel's stomach was really hurting around noon. I gave him a bath and then said I'd lay down for a nap with him. Snuggling close, I put my hand on his belly and prayed out loud, "Dear Jesus, please heal Joel. Drive out the tummy ache."

Well, he just started laughing. "Drive it out?"
"Yeah," I said, "drive the ache out of your belly." He kept laughing.
"You know like driving a car?" he asked." Like that commercial where the lady says give me thunder thighs and--"

"And a bedunkabunk butt?" I asked. He snorted and guffawed and giggled and said, "Don't make me laugh. It makes my tummy hurt." He kept laughing. I wish I'd had the videocamera to record it.

"Okay, but you know the Bible says laughter does good like medicine," I assured him.

"Then say it again!"

"Bedunkabunk butt," I said about 10 more times. He laughed and then got out of bed.

"Where are you going?" I asked. "You need a nap and then you'll probably feel better."

"No, I don't need a nap. You made me laugh so hard my tummy ache is gone!"

"Did Jesus drive it out?" I asked. That started another round of jocularity, but I somehow managed to coax him back to bed, where he slept soundly for 2 hours.

Illusions of Grandeur

2007-05-29T08:16:00.000-07:00

I debated whether or not to post this. But it is such a male thing for my five-year-old to say.

Yesterday after Joel's shower, all I found for him in his underwear drawer were size 4. "They're WAY too small for me," he says. "I need a 6."

"All your sixes are on the basement sofa, honey. I folded them yesterday. Run down and get a pair."

"Naked?" he asked.

"Yes, and hurry! No one will see you."

He bounced toward the steps and then turned back to me, with a half-scowl, half-bragging smile on his face.

"I hate my wee-wee," he says. "It's so big I trip over it. It's almost longer than my legs!" Then he scurried down the steps.

I howled!! Oh. My. Goodness. He is such a little MAN!!!! (I told Paul and the older kids later and they chuckled till they were redfaced.)

"When I was a Little Boy"

2007-05-17T08:58:00.000-07:00

Joel,5, had his 4 year old friend, Jack, over yesterday. It's been a good while since he was here (February). I heard Jack say, "I remember coming here when I was a little boy, Joel. I was two and now I'm four."

A little later Joel asked Jack if he wanted to draw airplanes with him. Joel uses colored pencils and a book called "Draw 50 Airplanes."

Joel: Jack, wanna draw airplanes with me?
Jack: Nah, I liked coloring when I was a little kid, but I'm big now, and I don't.
Joel: It's not COLORING. It's DRAWING!
Jack: That's okay. I wanna play Legos anyway.

Who is Mother's Day for, Anyway?

2007-05-07T10:01:00.000-07:00

Joel has a little friend named Jack.
Jack's mom is very nice.
Joel likes Jack's mom, too.
Joel is a big gift giver.
Sarah likes to help Joel shop for gifts.
Sarah said, yesterday, "Joel, let's go out and get a Mother's Day gift."
Joel asked, "For Jack's mom?"

My Baby loves Me. I love my Baby.

2007-04-20T17:34:00.000-07:00

He could use a haircut, I could use a diet, but we love each other "real much."

Little Brother,Big Sister

2007-04-20T16:38:00.000-07:00

He just wanted his picture taken with
the girl he loves most.

Shift Key Confusion

2007-03-28T08:45:00.000-07:00

Joel drew a heart and put the words, "Dad, Mom, Joel" inside. He came to me and asked how to do the seven on the shift key. I was not paying full attention to his question, so I assumed.

"You mean how to spell it? S-e-v-e-n," I said, writing it.
"No, I mean like on the shift key."
Again, I manufactured an meaning. "OH, "seven" in capital letters?" I wrote that for him.
"No, I don't mean that. I mean like cursive on the shift key." Once more, I was confused. I was thinking "cursive font in captitals," so I wrote that.

He was getting exasperated, and I wasn't any closer to closing the brain gap.

"UH! I MEAN, the SHIFT KEY and the SEVEN that looks like this" (he drew something akin to a treble clef note.

EUREKA!

FINALLY it dawned on me. "Oh, the and sign?!"

"Yes! he cheered. "The and sign. Like Dad, Mom, & Joel." He was talking about the ampersand. Duh. So I taught him that word and he was duly excited.

I was thinking, "Wow, kid. I didn't know how to use the ampersand on the typewriter (yes I'm dating myself) until typing class in high school! Let alone remember that it's on the 7 key when I'm NOT typing!

Tear-free Shampoo is Good, but--

2007-03-28T08:41:00.000-07:00

Joel was using his favorite shampoo (Suave for Kids, Cowabunga Coconut scent)yesterday in the shower as I helped him. He likes it because it smells great and is tear-free.

However, a few seconds after lathering it up, he sneezed. Once, then twice.

He concluded out loud, "They should make sneeze-free shampoo."

Ebay Mom

2007-03-23T14:46:00.000-07:00

This afternoon Joel was being a real pest. You know how overtiredness just gets them obnoxious. So he, my sweet and precious angel baby, was bothering his big brother big time. I told him sternly, "Lay down on the bed. Just stay there till I tell you to get up."

He grumped and snarled and said, "I hate when you do this."

"I don't like when you do what you've done, honey. It's not right or good."

"Would you like me to buy another mom?" he threatened.

"Another mom? Where would you buy one?" I asked, trying not to smile.

'On eBay," he said. "They sell 'em."

We both cracked up, and he came running to me and threw his arms around me. "I love you, sweet Mommy," he said.

"I love you, too, sweet baby, but I didn't tell you could get up out of bed. I'm not going to change my mind just because you're all huggy-kissy and funny."

"You're not?"

"No. Maybe an eBay mom would, but not me."

In Good Hands

2007-03-12T21:19:00.000-07:00

When Ben was three months old we went camping with a church group at Cunningham Falls in western Maryland.

I felt no fear about hiking and climbing as long as Paul was holding the baby close.

This is exactly how I picture myself in God's arms. So safe I can sleep while He does the carrying.

Benjie Jumping

2007-03-12T21:14:00.000-07:00

Okay, so it's not a bungee jump, but it was his extreme sport of choice at age six months. I took this page from a scrapbook.

Baby Ben, 1988

2007-03-12T20:54:00.000-07:00

Here's my baby Ben. The year was 1988. The event was Christmas. We just loved watching him open his presents because he was 9 months old and capable of appreciating a few (cheap) things. Boxes mostly, but he also was at that age of cause-and-effect fun.

I love this boy. It helps to take trips down Memory Lane to refresh the joys of motherhood. I remember this feeling of my cheek against his soft, wispy hair. I wish I could remember his giggle. It was priceless. Now it's deep and contagious, and still he has those wonderful dimples like his dad.

Father/son Moment 1989

2007-03-12T20:43:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite pictures ever. Paul was so thrilled to be a dad, it was always hard for him to say goodbye to us in the morning. (Well, I exaggerate. I'm sure many days he was more than glad to go off to a less chaotic environment for 8 diaper-free hours.) But his homecoming at 5:10 every night was the highlight of my day, when he'd set his briefcase down, dial the combination, and watch Ben jump with excitement when the buttons would pop open and he could explore the contents inside. (Or at least peek. We weren't dumb enough to give him free rein. We were dumb about many things, but we learned on Ben. Poor kid. Probably explains a lot!) I find it heartwarming that Ben took an early interest in business (Daddy's briefcase) and now it's his major.

"Son of my Right Hand"

2007-03-12T20:37:00.000-07:00

"He's such a happy baby!" everyone would say about Ben.
He smiled a lot, for sure. Maybe because he made me so happy and I was around him all day.

His name means "son of my right hand." Sure, the biblical meaning has more depth, but I tease him that ever since he was old enough to hold a vacuum hose, I gave him one of my jobs! To this day he has the cleanest room in the house. I kid you not.

Aren't those dimples just the cutest?

Ben, Way Back When

2007-03-12T20:31:00.000-07:00

My firstborn, Benjamin Paul, will be 19 years old this month. This picture was taken when he was probably about 10-11 months old. (He didn't walk till 13 months, when I brought home baby sister Sarah.) He had three favorite toys: any ball, a play station (of sorts--the one in this picture) and Daddy's guitar. Not much has changed! Talk about a child's "bent." It's fun to look back and see the buds of personality and interests.

I remember thinking how mobile he was, how exhausting to chase, making sure he didn't hurt himself. Never imagined what it'd be like to wait up past midnight waiting for him to come home. His loud music in the car (which he claims is "so low, how can anyone in the neighborhood even hear it?), the garage door opening , signaling his homecoming. All things I'd miss if he weren't here but need grace for while he is.

This is How Much I...

2007-03-03T08:17:00.000-08:00

Today Joel was helping Sarah declutter her room. I was at the computer. He handed me an index card that had a column of numbers on it. (It was a list of wreaths I sold for different amounts, and the total.)

The bottom line said 500.

He said, "Mom, do you need this?"

I looked it over and said, "No, it just shows how much I--"

"Weigh?" he asked.

Check this Out

2007-03-01T16:52:00.000-08:00

Our whole family gets a kick daily out of Joel. He really lights up our lives.
Sarah, our 17 year old, wrote something she loves about him. Check it out at www.77thpsalm.blogspot.com. (Her blog is called Homeward Bound. My link button isn't working right today.)

Out of Your Own Head

2007-03-01T08:13:00.000-08:00

Last night was the first in over two weeks that I felt well enough to cook a good meal. I felt so much better, in fact, that I treated my family to a meal of New York steak that I marinated with a little bit of this and that. Real mashed potatoes, a colorful salad with homemade honey mustard dressing, and--with Joel's help--a bright and artistically arranged platter of canteloupe, strawberries and bananas.

While we were working alongside each other, Joel says to me, "Did you get this from Rachael Ray or did you think of it out of your own head?"

Free-hand Batman Icon

2007-02-23T19:26:00.000-08:00

This piece utterly amazed me. Joel took a piece of black construction paper (full size) and --without tracing or steciling or even drawing an outline first-- cut out this Batman icon with scissors. Not only was he just a few days shy of five years old, the amazing thing to me was that this gift is inherited from his great-great grandfather Nickel. My father used to watch his grandfather take a piece of paper or tin foil and cut out freehand pictures of a galloping horse, proud stag, or eagle in flight. Sometimes he did it with his eyes closed. To me this is such a testimony of God's wonderful creative genius being repeated throughout the generations!

OGW Club Sends Love to Iraq

2007-02-23T19:14:00.000-08:00

Once again our Operation Gummi Worms Club poured out their love for a soldier they don't know --yet!--my brother in law, Sgt. Trip Felton. They came over on Feb 6th and made heart-shaped sugar cookies and lavished them with red and pink sprinkles. They also pulled out the proverbial stops when getting creative with the cards. GREAT NEWS: THEY WILL GET TO MEET TRIP! He's coming home to Maryland in April/May and really wants to meet them as much as they want to meet him. I can hardly wait for this homecoming celebration!!!! I can only imagine they'll be ga-ga over this real, live soldier they've only known through pictures and cards.

Funny but not Genteel

2007-02-23T15:26:00.000-08:00

I debated whether to post this. Those of you who were brought up with all sisters or who are prim and proper should probably not read on. I grew up in that kind of home but married a man raised with all brothers. Let's just say my manners took a left turn (or maybe did a U-ey)at the altar.

So, with that warning, let me say I found Joel's comment the other night hilarious. We've all been coughing. Sometimes really hard. Well, one time he coughed and "tooted" at the same time.

"Woops!" he said, giggling. "My butt coughed, too!"

When All-Inclusive is Overkill

2007-02-23T15:16:00.000-08:00

A few nights ago Joel was miserable. Very warm, congested, achy, sneezy, all-over blah feeling.
I was scratching his back to help him go to sleep and he said, "Mom, will you pray for me, please?"

"Sure," I said, and decided to include every possible body part in one efficient prayer. "Lord Jesus, please have mercy on my baby. Touch him with your healing power . Please make him feel better from head to toe--"

"But, Mom--" he interrupted, "my toe doesn't hurt."

Why His Temperature is Low

2007-02-22T08:46:00.000-08:00

Like having a great hair day on the day of your haircut appointment, or your car not making the funny noise for the mechanic that it's made for you for two weeks, so my kids seems to be pictures of health and liveliness when presenting them to the doctor for a supposed fever and other symptoms.

Our entire household has been sick to varying degrees for 3 weeks. Joel was the only one with a fever and that started Monday night. By Wednesday morning, he still had one. I didn't take his temp, but guessed it was at least 100-101.

So Wednesday afternoon I take him to the doctor's office. The nurse takes his temperature.

"What is it?" I ask?

"It's 97.5, " she replies.

"That low?" I ask. "Hmmm!"

Then Joel pipes up, "That's because I'm only five."

It's Cold Out, Baby!

2007-02-21T09:23:00.000-08:00

But Joel loves it. We got less than 2 inches of snow but then so much ice that our hill out back was a track so slick they couldn't ride sleds. They could barely climb the hill on foot, except for Joel, who moves like a gazelle over frozen tundra.

Basketball is a Testimony to God's Love

2007-02-17T19:31:00.000-08:00

Stephen has really been enjoying basketball this year. In his words, "This is the best game there is."

I still marvel when I watch him play. It's a testimony to God's love in the form of healing. Two days after his 13th birthday (2004) Stephen was skateboarding down the street behind us, which, like every street in our neighborhood, is quite hilly. When he realized he was going too fast and could end up with a head injury if he didn't bail, he jumped off. Jumped so hard and landed straight on both feet in the grass. The sudden impact with all his weight at that speed made his right quad muscle tear the tibia tubercle off. (That's the knotty bump below the kneecap, more noticeable on guys.) The ER staff at Upper Chesapeake didn't diagnose the break. They called it 'derangement' and said, "See an orthopedist in a couple days. Meanwhile, rest it, ice it, elevate it. " His thigh swelled up like a body pillow and he couldn't move it. Unbearable pain. The orthopedist saw him and ordered emergency surgery. (Upper Chesapeake Hospital has disappointed us many a time in their diagnoses.) Stephen spent four months in physical therapy. His goal was to play basketball by Christmas of that year. The last week of November he hobbled to the hoop at the top of the driveway and took a shot. I don't remember if he made it. I was fighting tears of joy.

Writing on the Cake

2007-02-15T09:43:00.000-08:00

Joel turned five years old yesterday. We gave him our family gifts (Superman action figures , Superman magic coloring book, and Star Wars Legos.)

When he opened the Legos, he exclaimed, "Cool! This is what I've wanted my whole life!"

That was his morning funny.

My funny Valentine is going to have a party with friends this Saturday, with a superheroes theme, cake and all. But yesterday he wanted a cake, too, which is fine. EVeryone should have a cake right on their birthday. We (Sarah and I, the resident cake decorators) just didn't have the energy or creativity for emblellishing this pre-party cake.

So I said, "Joel, what do you want on your cake? What should we write?"

He dragged a chair to the counter where Sarah held the writing tip with icing. While he was dragging the chair, Sarah asked him the same question, "Joel, what do you want me to write on your cake?"

He said, "Dear Joel" ....(long pause).....I hope you have a good time with your Star Wars buddies."

Feel the Love

2007-02-06T16:34:00.000-08:00

It's 12 stinking degrees here. Twelve. Or was that the high today? At any rate, Joel must be a reptile; he has been in a T-shirt and shorts all day around the house. Finally, this evening, I couldn't stand seeing him in summer clothes. It was making ME cold. So I said, "Joel ,I want you to go upstairs and put on pants and socks."

"But I'm not cold."

"I don't care. I want you to put on warmer clothes."

"Can't we just snuggle?"

"We can snuggle after you put on pants and socks. Now go."

"But Mom! I can snuggle you and feel the love and be warm."

AWww, I know. Precious. I said, "That's sweet, honey, but you must obey. Now go."

Next thing I knew he was in my bed, fast asleep, the electric blanket on HIGH. Still in shorts and T.

Chinese People

2007-01-24T09:48:00.000-08:00

Joel has picked up on the fact that people from different countries speak different languages. He hears me talk about my online French friends, Isabelle and Renee. Our friends, the Blums, visited with us from Israel in the summer, and Ya'el was here again in November and December, to teach Hebrew. Of course Joel hears Spanish every time we eat at La Tolteca or go to Walmart. A couple of times we've had Chinese students in our home, but he was too young to remember.

Yesterday we were driving home from Bible study, and out of the blue came Joel's funny question. "Mom, what do Chinese people talk? French, Hebrew, or Spanish?"

I said, "Most Chinese people speak Chinese, honey."

"They do?" he asked, as if Chinese people are far superior because they speak an altogether foreign language!